Time Marches On

At the beginning of the last school year, a month or so after classes started, there was a new kid in Bowie’s class. I’ll call him C. He was put in the desk next to Bowie, and the two hit it off immediately. So much so, that C was moved to another desk entirely by the end of the day.

They were in cahoots right away. They were partners in crime. Allies. Joined at the hip. A duo unified against the outside world. From the moment they met.

Their energies are very similar, their interests almost identical. They played together every recess. There were playdates upon playdates. And as they grew to become the best of friends, we became close with C’s parents as well. And they actually helped us through a very difficult time this past spring.

The thing that keeps this from being perfect is that C’s family was here for C’s mom’s job, and were only here for the year. Meaning, they go back home on Friday. And home is Canada.

We have been promised a warm welcome if we ever find ourselves there, and we will probably plan a visit at some point. But for Bowie, it won’t be the same. His best friend will be thousands of miles away, not sitting across from him at the lunch table.

Bowie struggles to make friends. The combination of his sensitivity and emotional extremes and shyness make for a hard nut to crack. Most kids give up pretty quickly. C was an exception. He wanted to hang out with Bowie, and he accepted Bowie as he is.

We’ve told him that C is moving away. But, I don’t think he understands the real facts of the situation. And I’m really afraid of the day that it does all sink in. Especially since it will be the beginning of a new school year, and last year was, well, not awesome.

Have any of you had to handle this sort of situation before? With the age 7-ish crowd? When I was a kid, I was the one that was always the one moving away, so while I know what it’s like to have to leave a friend, I think watching a friend go might be a different sort of experience. I think he’s too old for me to get a book on the subject too, he’d probably just roll his eyes at me, and I’d seem insincere in my empathy.

I know we can’t protect them from everything. But, I’d like to, you know, soften the blow.

Help, Intertubes!

Group Therapy: The Self-Deprecation

The first few weeks of 2012 have not been kind to some of my friends, family and acquaintances. But, they’ve been going swimmingly for me, and my little corner of the universe.

Which has really taught me a lesson about myself lately: I find it hard to be happy when others are not.

There’s a Woody Allen joke, “I can’t enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.” And, I think that’s what I’m trying to say. I can’t be happy if everyone’s not happy.

Which is just ridiculous because, take a look around. It’s highly unlikely I’ll ever live to see a day when everyone is happy.

So, I’m trying to by happy for myself, even if I can’t be happy for everyone in my life. I can still be there to support them, I can still be there to love them. It’s not as if I’m showing up on their doorstep saying, “My life is so much better than yours right now!”

I’m sure there were times in those people’s lives when they were happy, and I wasn’t. In fact, I can think of several examples to that effect. But, I never resented anyone for it. I told myself, “It’s not their fault that I’m not happy.”

So, then why would I also say to myself, “Why should I be happy when they are not?” Doesn’t make any sense.

I’m not huge on resolutions, I find them hard to make and harder to keep. But, I suppose this can be mine for 2012: Don’t be afraid to give myself credit and allow myself to be happy.

Quiet Chaos

It’s been quiet on here lately, I know. Sorry about that. It’s certainly NOT for lack of exciting/stressful/scary goings-on in our life right now, we’ve got QUITE an abundance of that THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Just…nothing I can write about on here. I have limits. Most of my readers know me and/or my family members and friends personally, so I really have to zip it when it comes to some stuff to avoid hurt feelings. Pretty sure even if I tried to “protect the innocent”, people would figure it out. And, it has the potential to come across as gossip, which I hate.

Anyway, I’m still here, sorting it out. Trying to think of funny, exciting, safe blog topics to take on.

What can I tell you? Some shorts:

1. Kiddo is LOVING preschool. LOVING it. And I have become part of one of the most amazing groups of people I could ever hope to. We’ve only been a part of the community for about 6 weeks now, but people have been so welcoming and supportive, it’s amazing. If any of you have stumbled upon my blog, thank you so much.

2. Spent an amazing evening with playgroup friends last night. We didn’t get together much over the holidays and I forgot how much I love our rag tag group of misfits we call a “mom’s group”. I hope we never lose touch, and I hope our kids know each other into adulthood.

3. We put kiddo on a juice detox. He was just drinking way too much of the stuff. We had tried this once before and CAVED miserably after 2 days. This time around, those same 2 days were pretty rough, and I was leaving him in the bath extra long so he’d drink some of the water, I was so worried about him getting too dehydrated. But yesterday, day 3, he saw all of his playgroup buddies drinking water, asked me for some, and promptly downed 2 full cups. And then peed his pants ahem.

4. Go Bears. That is all.