Lately, due to the heavy SAHM and mom blogger influence on my Twitter account, I have been feeling somewhat guilty for not doing more activities with Bowie. That’s a big, blanket word, activities. But what I mean is, stuff at home like craft projects and baking and planting seeds, that kind of stuff.

But, the thing is, whenever I go to do stuff like that with him, I realize he’s too young. Or is he? I mean, I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. We color pictures together and we search for flowers on walks together. But, baking? Using glue on something? I just think he’s too young! And last time I pulled out the Play-Doh–he feasted upon it. Really. He had pink poop.

Two questions: 1) When did you start doing fun little crafty/exploring activities with your kids? How old were they?  2) What were those projects? Are there good ones for a 2 1/2 year old that I’m forgetting?

Of course I want to have fun and make memories and be interactive with my kiddo while he’s still little. But, I’m out of ideas. And maybe I am just feeling pressure from the uber-involved online community members?

The comment on Twitter that prompted this post ended with the hashtag “family centered”. Which made me wonder, am I less family centered than this mother?

Ground Control to Major Tom

So, you know what I’m totally tired of already (even though I have like 16 years of this  parenting thing left) (well, really forever because they’re always our kids) (and make that forever and a day if we have more kids)?

I’m tired of the whole not listening thing. Like, you know they hear you, you know they understand you, yet they do not respond and/or do not react accordingly!

I remember my own mother complaining about this phenomenon, the selective hearing. Why, just this afternoon, I repeated one of her favorites, “Why don’t you ever listen to me?!”

Ok, so I didn’t listen, and probably kids before me didn’t, and I should take comfort in that and therefore be able to deal with it when Bowie pulls the I’m-not-listening card. But, no, people. Really, no. It still sucks.

I often apologize to new moms or expecting moms for scaring them about the toddler years, but I won’t apologize here, you must be warned. Be prepared to repeat yourself approximately 75 times when you want them to do something or stop doing something or whatever it is.

You will be calm at first. You will think I am the coolest, calmest most collected mama on earth. I’ll just ask him nicely to not put the fork in the socket and everything will be awesome.

Gradually, the volume of your voice will increase, and the language will change (for instance, you may even begin to throw a threat or two in there) until finally you are MAMA, HELLBEAST OF THE APOCALYPSE.

Just do this for me though: don’t be too hard on yourself. Know that you are not the only mama to yell. And take comfort in the fact that you had the patience to ask nicely as many times as you did.

I have a friend who theorizes that a little yelling when they are young makes them think twice as teens. Now, who knows what our kids will do when they are teens, we were all loose cannons back then AM I RIGHT? But, use her theory to make yourself feel better, haha.

p.s. like the Bowie reference? yes, I’m super witty like that, thanks.

Get the Tissues

I don’t recall where I read it, but someone has said that when you have a child, you feel like your heart is in their body. If they’re happy, you’re happy. If they’re hurt, you’re hurt.

But, what they don’t tell you, is a little piece of you is with EVERY kid on the planet. You can’t see kids who are sad, hurt or disappointed without your heart aching. You imagine if that were your child, and then you know how that parent must feel (or some idea of it).

Three days ago, I did not know the little girl named Layla Grace. But I saw many people offering prayers, good vibes, good thoughts and support, so I took a look at her profile.

YOU GUYS. A 2 year old girl dying of cancer. Rips your freaking heart out, I don’t care who you are. I was feeling a lot of self-pity since last week, but this wiped that all away. I have my health. I have my son. I have my son’s health. That’s about all that really matters.

This morning, she passed away. And I am sitting here in a puddle of tears for a little girl I only know about because of Twitter, and have only known about for 3 days. Because it’s unfair that terrible people get to walk this earth day after day, spreading their hate and evil around, while innocent 2 year old babies have to suffer and die.

Rest in peace, Layla Grace. You were so brave.


My conundrum begins here:

Last summer, my best San Francisco friend N tells me she’s having her second baby, her daughter is about 6 weeks older than Bowie. She’s the first in our group of parent pals to have her second. I’m like, congrats and…GOOD LUCK OMG HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HANDLE IT. Of course, I didn’t say that last part out loud.

Then, a few months ago, our playgroup pal K tells us she too is preggo with her second bundle of joy (her first is a few weeks older than Bowie). I’m thinking wow that’s awesome…GOOD LUCK OMG HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HANDLE IT.

At this point, I’m surer than I’ve ever been about anything in life that I’m, we’re, not ready for a second baby. Not only would it create a massive financial issue, but, in case you’re a new reader, my son is in the MAD THROES of the “Terrible Twos”. How on earth would I handle a full on, head ramming into the floor, screaming, crazy fit in the middle of Target with a newborn in my arms? I’ll tell ya: I would not. They’d have to put me in the straight jacket right there, in the middle of housewares.

Fast forward to this morning, when a very good pal of N and I, S announces that his wife is now preggo, their first actually being younger than Bowie. GAH.

But the thing is, all of a sudden I had that familiar pang in the pit of my stomach. That gosh I want to snuggle a newborn baby close to me, and not just any newborn, but my own newborn feeling.

The problem is, how do I know if I’m TRULY and FULLY ready for baby #2, or simply feeling left out? Not to mention, how do I quell these feelings for at least, like, a year, because, as previously stated, we are in no way, shape or form prepared for bringing baby #2 into this world. And let’s not even get me started on how the hubbs is super scared of having a second baby at all. And JEBUS, I am super freaking crazy, because if our second little on is a girl, I already have her named. I need some help????

So that’s where we’re at. Ugh.