Unpredictable

Life can be so weird sometimes. And often, when we get to a place of comfort and normalcy, something drops in our laps. Something we never saw coming. Something we never even imagined might happen.

Thanksgiving week, I found myself fainting while I did yard work. And peeing constantly. And the official nail in the coffin: not getting my period.

I took a home pregnancy test and got a very faint positive. I took another test: another faint positive. I started wondering if any of my medications might cause a false positive, but Dr. Google seriously let me down. As you can imagine, there was very conflicting information, and nothing regarding my specific medications. So anyway, the next day I took 4 more tests (just to be sure) and got 4 positives. Four.

And I commenced to freak the hell out. And then I had the unbridled pleasure of making my husband freak the hell out right along with me.

I was on the birth control pill. No one saw this coming. Not me, not him, not my gynecologist. We had two boys. We were done. This was it. This was our family, this was our future.

I mean, we had certainly discussed the possibility of adding one more little one to the mix. But, with all the struggles I had been through, and then with the move to a new city and purchase of a new home, we just decided that it wasn’t a good time, and that by the time it was a “good” time, it would probably be on the later side to be contemplating such a thing. So, no more kiddos.

And suddenly: baby.

I’m going to be a mother again. I’m going to go through 9 months of pregnancy. Again. I’m going to have to go through labor and delivery. Again. I’m going to be changing diapers. Again. And when I’m 40! Unless this is a super genius baby who will by potty trained by then. Finger crossed.

I wasn’t thrilled when I found out, but I also wasn’t disappointed in any way. It was a shock, and shock takes some time to wear off. I went through all the stages of grief (grief for my no-diaper, big-kid mom life) and ended up here, at 15 weeks, feeling…ok. Just ok. Which in turn makes me feel guilty. Shouldn’t I be over the moon about this? Babies are a blessing, and all of that? What’s wrong with me?

And the fretting, oh my word the fretting. I was a basket case when I was pregnant with Ferris, because he was my post-miscarriage baby. My rainbow baby. I was a nervous wreck with him. But this time, it’s so much worse. I am going to be 38 in a few weeks. That’s oooollllldddd according to the OBGYN. And everything that can normally go wrong, can really go wrong. There’s Down’s syndrome and zika and heart defects and my lord, a million other things I can’t even think of. We didn’t plan for this baby, and the prospect of something being wrong is too much to bear. I’ve been plenty reassured that the odds are in our favor. And our chromosomal testing came back totally and completely normal. But, that still doesn’t calm an anxious mind.

Oh, and then there’s the fact that we don’t have any stuff. We have NO. STUFF. No crib, no changing table, no carseat, no stroller, no high chair, no swings, no carriers, no bibs, no blankets, no clothes, nada. We were done. We gave it all away. Which I had heard is a surefire way to get yourself a surprise baby, but I just chuckled at it. Let me be a PSA for you here, don’t get rid of the baby stuff until you go through menopause. Just to be sure. Thankfully, what we do have are plenty of friends and family with small children who have lots of goodies to pass along to us. I’m so grateful for the kindness of our “village” right now.

And the real kicker: it’s a girl. A GIRL. No more Boy Mom Dot Com here. I mean, a girl is wonderful. So exciting. I’m happy about it. But, with boys, I knew what I was doing. I have no idea how to raise a girl. Especially in these crazy times we live in. Thank goodness for the big, wide Internet parenting community.

But anyway, it’s happening. I have definitely felt pregnant. Mega morning sickness, the worst of all my pregnancies. I was showing by 8 weeks, so fun when you’re not ready to tell people yet. You just look like you’ve been hitting the chocolate Hostess Donettes too hard. Which I had. So, fair enough. I have also been so tired, I nearly nod off at red lights. And gassy. GOOD. LORD. I have made a lifestyle out of crop dusting entire aisles at Target.

Cravings have been coming and going. Previously when I’ve been pregnant, I’ve avoided lunchmeats and fish totally grossed me out. This time? Give me all the sliced turkey and fish you’ve got. I know, I know. But I’ve been craving protein like mad. And turkey sandwiches were all I could stomach for several weeks. Cravings for sweets come and go. With Bowie and Ferris, I couldn’t stop with the sweets. It was all I wanted. This time, meh. Food turn offs include anything lemon flavored (but oddly not lemons themselves) and French fries (I KNOW!).

So, I’m 15 weeks and doing fine. Except for the occasional freak out about doing this all over again. And having more kids than parents in our house. Stick around, because it’s about to get very exciting over here!

 

 

 

Two Point Five

It’s handy that Ferris’ half birthday falls on St. Patrick’s Day, because it makes it so easy to remember. And I want to document it all, because at this age, they change so much and so quickly, you might as well give an update every hour.

I’ve noticed so many things about him lately. I think this year, between ages 2 and 3, is one of the most exciting times to watch your child grow. They come out of the baby phase and learn to really communicate and socialize, and they become a real “kid.”

The thing that’s really striking to me, and just interesting, is that Ferris seems to be the kind of kid that can pick up an activity, pretty much any activity, and instantly be good at it. He’s not very self-conscious, so he’s willing to try just about anything. He’s not afraid to admit when he’s scared and he wants to give something up. And he’s not very clumsy, compared to some kids. (Including his big brother, who was very clumsy, awkward, shy and unwilling to try anything new without some major encouragement.)

He’s so proud of his accomplishments too. When he succeeds at a new task, like climbing a steep ladder to a slide for instance, he jumps and dances around and says, “I did it!!!!” over and over again. And he’ll make sure everyone in earshot knows he did it.

He’s making friends in preschool, real friends, and he’s turning out to be pretty loyal. He asks about his friends when they aren’t at school. And he can recall events from his day at school, and even from days before. He’s getting more articulate and starting to use whole sentences, so he will recount his day for me on the way home, and it’s crazy cute.

He shows empathy and concern really well for his age. When another child is crying, he wants to investigate, and he asks, “Aw, what’s wrong?” When he sees a crack in the street or  some damage to a car or a house, he gasps and says very dramatically, “Broken.” And he wants to fix it. The other day, my husband was home sick from work and had a depressing (but good) documentary on. Ferris had no idea what the subject matter of the movie was, nor could he fully understand what was being said, but he got enough of a vibe from people’s expressions to know it was sad, and every couple of minutes he’d say, “Awwww.”

He’s not really a big fan of sweets. Of course, he likes sweet things, like any other kid, but he doesn’t like to have a lot of it in one sitting. And he usually won’t eat anything cakey or cookie-like. Even his tolerance for sweet cereal is limited. We give the boys Honey Nut Cheerios for general daily breakfast, but we have some goodies on hand like Cocoa Krispies, Apple Jacks, etc. that we allow on the weekends or the occasional after-school snack. But, he will choose the Cheerios over those almost every time. I think he’s like his mama this way.

Now that he’s big enough to defend himself, we’ve reached the era of Brother Fist Fights. It would be hilarious if not for that whole getting hurt thing. I’m breaking up no less than a dozen fights a day. Do girls fight this way? So physical and rough? Anyone got any great tips on getting it to stop? Or will they still be giving each other noogies at Thanksgiving dinner in 20 years?

Favorite things: Gogurt, milk, hummus, gum, “Blankie” and “Monkey”, Thomas, Caillou, Bob the Builder, running, jumping, going on walks outside the stroller, the beach, the park, anything and everything that Big Brother is doing, eating, saying, wearing or feeling.

Least favorite things: Holding hands to cross the street, being stuck in a stroller, someone helping him go up/down stairs or opening/closing doors or getting in/out of the car, not being allowed to fully subsist on Gogurt and milk alone, the post-school pre-brother-gets-home early-afternoon slump where he’s tired enough to nap, but refuses to actually nap.

Why oh why do they have to grow up so much and so quickly?

Here’s an action “I did it!” shot. Remember this play structure? He tackled it. Like a boss.

 

i did it

One.

One year, you guys! ONE YEAR! How has it been an entire YEAR already?

One minute, you’re fumbling with putting a newborn into a carseat, and the next minute you’re picking out a big, chocolatey cupcake for them to tear into.

In some ways, I CAN’T believe that an entire year has slipped by. It has gone so fast! But, then I look back at the many things our little family has been through this past year and ok, it really HAS been a year. Much to this mama’s chagrin. I’m still trying to wrap my head around Kindergarten, and then the baby has to go and turn one. Good grief.

So yeah, Ferris. One. Already. From snuggly little ball of baby love to dimply big boy toddler. So fast!

Likes: kitchen drawers, swimming class, brother, brother’s room, milk, graham crackers, baths, sitting in shopping carts, music, pooping in his sleep in the middle of the night, books, cars, trucks and kitty’s water bowl.

Dislikes: diaper changes, wipeouts, leaving brother’s room, people who eat in front of him and don’t share, sippy cups, washcloths, hats, the safety straps on shopping carts and me going to the bathroom before getting him from his crib in the morning.

He is starting to talk a lot, mostly just using his favorite phrases, “What’s this?” and “What’s that?” But he says mama and dada, and knows how to ask for a baba. He’s learning to say brother and Bowie. When you hand him a Matchbox car, he says vroom. And he has a sign that he makes, where he points with his right index finger at his open left palm. I never taught my boys to sign, so I’m not sure what it means. And it probably doesn’t mean whatever it’s supposed to mean. At first I thought it meant “more”, because he’s usually doing it in his high chair. But, I’m not so sure. Time will tell, I suppose.

He’s been “walking” for a while now. He likes to take a few steps, and then just crawl the rest of the way because it’s faster. But, but, BUT, it’s like he knew his birthday was coming or something because yesterday, after his afternoon nap, he was walking all over the house, hardly crawling at all. And this morning he was (literally) doing laps around the living room. He is READY to be on the MOVE. (Gulp.)

Dear Ferris,

I’d like to tell you that I hope the next few years of your life go much slower than this one did, but I know from experience that just isn’t possible. So instead I will just tell you to have fun now that you’re a not a baby anymore.

You’re a toddler. You’re a KID. Still snuggly and soft like a baby, but a little less so with each passing day. You’re toddling around the house like Frankenstein today, but tomorrow, you’ll take off running into the big wide world.

The past year has been an exciting one for our whole family, and you were along for the ride, no complaints, like a little trooper. Thank goodness for baby carriers and helpful family members.

Now that brother is in school all day, we get to spend lots of one-on-one time together. For one year, until you start preschool. So, I want to enjoy it as much as I can. I look back on that time with Bowie so fondly, I can’t wait to see what adventures we go on.

This time (press time, noon-ish) last year, I wasn’t even in labor yet, but little did I know I’d be cuddling you by 9 p.m. And then the real adventure began, because your arrival made me a Mom of Two. Uff-da.

Love you baby, ahem, big boy,

Mama

 

Eleven Months

Ferris is eleven months old today! I can’t believe it. Here’s a few shots of him at eleven months:

Yes, he’s full-on standing now. Not walking quite yet, but standing for LONG periods of time, with impeccable balance, and trying to take steps here and there.

We were sure that because he had crawled so much earlier than Bowie that he’d be walking by now, but he’s not. It’s not far off though, he did take one step forward unassisted a few days ago. And we keep meeting other babies his age who are full-on walking. So, I know it’s coming. I’m bracing myself. He’s already basically into EVERYTHING.

Also, it used to be, I threw one kid’s birthday party, at the beginning of each summer, and then I was done. Now, I have to throw another one at the end of every summer. I did NOT take this into account when I decided to have another child. So, let the party planning begin! (Blergh.)

Dear Ferris,

You are turning 11 months old today. The last of the “months” birthdays before you are a full year, and we just start keeping track of age in years. And you’re doing this two days before your brother starts Kindergarten. What are you guys trying to do to me?!

I’m trying to just take heart in the fact that most of the time, people assume you’re much older than one. But you’re not yet. You’re still my little guy, still an “infant”. (Though barely.) You still take bottles, you still crawl, you still eat purees most of the time. You can’t talk yet, you still take a bunch of naps all day. Still a baby.

But, you’re also so much not a baby anymore in so many ways. You’re pointing, waving, clapping and giving high-fives. You’re taking tiny little steps. You’re feeding yourself all kinds of foods that are not pureed. You laugh at farts. You grab candy off the shelves at the grocery store. You’re a little boy now.

I welcome your first birthday though. With your brother in school all day, I’ll be able to go out and do all the museums and story times and playgroups like I got to do with your brother. We’ll have a good year of mama and Ferris time. I’m really looking forward to it.

Not much else to say, hon. You’re a bit different from last month, a little different than you’ll be next month, I’m sure. But these days you’re not changing so much. You’re just who you are: Ferris. Ferris who likes peas and salmon and pinto beans and chicken and corn and turkey but won’t touch strawberries with a ten-foot pole. Ferris who likes to drink his bottles all alone, with no one around, no matter how much mama tries to cuddle with him and bond with him while he eats. Ferris who would much rather crawl back to Bowie’s room and play with all those awesome big boy toys than play with those silly baby toys.

My sweet baby. For now.

Love you,

Mama

On Diapers. And the Environment.

What seems like a million billion years ago now, I was pregnant and mulling over having to cover another baby bum. I was also lamenting that we had used thousands (no exaggeration on that one) of Pampers for Bowie. We try to be as green as we can in our every day lives, but we had just let this one slip. I was on the hunt for a greener solution the second time around.

After a little digging, I came across the newly founded The Honest Co. which really is a great company all-around, and the diapers are better for baby and earth than conventional ones, but still getting tossed in the trash, all 5000 of them. Was there something else? Or was I being too optimistic?

Then, I mentioned The Honest Co. in a post, just in passing, and I was approached by the EarthBaby company recently to try their diapers, which are not only fully compostable, but a delivery person comes once a week, every week, to drop off diapers and wipes and take your old diapers away with them.

I was a little skeptical at first about the whole process. I can’t remember why now, it’s all been going so smoothly. I think first and foremost I wondered if I could keep a bag of stinky diapers around my house for a whole week without it getting to me. Answer: a week goes a lot faster than you think. (Duh.) We’ve yet to encounter an odor problem.

I also wondered about the quality of the diapers. They’re meant to be composted, after all, so how sturdy could they possibly be? And to be truthful, they are slightly more delicate than the average disposable diaper. A few times, I had the tabs come off when I was struggling to fasten them to a squirmy little baby. But, once they are on, they stay on, and we haven’t had one rip while actually on the baby.

I also wondered how well they’d hold in the…stuff. If they’re made to be fully compostable, the absorbent materials must be sub-standard, right? Well, so far, not so. We haven’t had a single leak. In fact, we’ve even had issues with Ferris peeing through diapers overnight (the Honest diapers) so we got a box of conventional branded diapers made especially for overnight. The other night I forgot to put an overnight one on, and he wore an Earth Baby diaper all night, no issues, no leaks. Color me impressed.

I also didn’t want the hassles of a delivery service. Having to deal with a stranger and coordinating drop off and pick up times and blah blah blah. But with EarthBaby, you leave your diapers on your stoop the morning of your delivery day, they come by and take them and leave the new diapers and wipes. No appointments, no doorbells, nothing. And if you forget to leave your dirty ones out, you’ll still get your new ones, you just leave the dirty ones the next week.

I was also concerned about cost. I was getting this bundle deal from The Honest Co. and when I priced it all out, it seemed marginally more expensive than conventional diapers, but cheaper than most other delivery services. So I punched the numbers again for this post, and the difference was a couple of dollars per month. The two services are essentially the same price, and one service takes my dirty diapers and composts them. I think we know who comes out ahead here.

And I know some of you are thinking, well why can’t I just toss them into my green bin? The answer to that is right on their FAQ page:

Human waste composting is a very different process than curbside composting for kitchen scraps, lawn trimmings and cardboard. Please do not put soiled diapers in your city composting bin as it contaminates their composting stream.

And for the truly green among us who are composting in their backyard:

Reaching the high temperatures required to kill harmful bacteria and pathogens found in human waste is difficult and inconsistent when using common home composting techniques. To ensure that the soil produced when our products are composted is 100% safe, we only offer our diapers and wipes as part of our inclusive service whereby the products are composted in our regulated industrial composting facility.

So, there it is folks. EarthBaby in a nutshell. Great product, convenient process, friendly customer service. Unfortunately, however, they currently only deliver to homes in the San Francisco Bay Area. But that’s where many of my readers are! So I just had to spread the good word anyway.

The company has offered my readers one month of service, one pack of diapers and one pack of wipes FREE with this coupon code: VERYBLOGGY13 If you live in the Bay Area, please take advantage!

If you’re on the hunt for a great diapering solution, I highly recommend EarthBaby!

Disclaimer: I was compensated by Earth Baby with product for this post, however all opinions are my own.

Ten Months

Dear Ferris,

I JUST started getting used to saying that you were 9 months old, and now you’ve gone and turned 10 months old already! That last month went lickety split.

We are in the home stretch now, the first birthday is just 2 months away. TWO MONTHS. That’s only 8 weeks. EIGHT WEEKS. Then you can try all the things, my adventurous little eater. Milk! Nuts! Honey! Eggs! Berries! (Wait, you’ve been eating eggs and berries for a while now, WHOOPS.)

Socially, you are blossoming. You like to “talk” to other babies. Like, A LOT. Social butterfly already. You’re a little wary of grown ups you don’t know super well, and you hide your head in mama’s shoulder. You LOVE to snuggle with mama, and you give such great baby hugs and kisses. THE BEST.

You’re not walking yet, but you’re darn close. You’re cruising furniture like a boss, and you like to pull stunts like this:

And you can climb stuff now, so when I turn my back you’re pulling stunts like this:

You want to do everything big brother Bowie can do! And you’re not afraid to try! Just ask the half dozen bruises you have on your big noggin at any given moment. Good thing you are a second kid, and not a first kid, or they’d have to put me in a padded room.

You’re way ahead of where Bowie was at your age with the crawling and walking and climbing stuff. But on other stuff, you’re doing things a lot differently. You’re taller than Bowie was at your age, but roughly the same weight. Which has made pants shopping a bit of a challenge. ALREADY. Man, just wait until those teen years! Also, Bowie was waking up with dry diapers by 11 months old, and you’re filling up diapers made especially for overnight like you’re testing the integrity of the product (p.s. Pampers, he leaked through one last night.)

It’s funny, I feel like the last month zipped by, but I can also see how far you’ve come in just one month. Growing and changing and becoming a little man right before our very eyes.

Love you, sweetness! Here’s to another great month!

Love,

Mama

 

 

 

Eight Months

Ferris is eight months old now people. EIGHT. MONTHS. I can’t believe it! Two-thirds of the way through is first year already. Insane!

As for how breastfeeding is going…it’s complicated. Just three hours after I hit publish on my last post, he refused to nurse, and I haven’t been able to get him to nurse since. Which is gut-wrenching. He’s only 8 months old. I really wanted to go for much longer.

And while I think I still will be able to provide breast milk for him to drink, I don’t think I can provide enough for him to subsist on just that, at least for the next few months, so I’m trying slowly to work formula back into the equation. It’s difficult to pump and keep up with his appetite, but I’m trying a bunch of stuff suggested by my lactation consultant friends, and I hope to up the supply just a bit. I’m not sure how this will all shake out, but my end goal is to offer a mix of breast milk and formula and hope he gets what he needs out of it. I never envisioned pumping to be THIS huge of an ordeal. Nor did I ever expect him to fully and completely reject nursing. Or would seriously have just put up with all the biting. I’m frustrated and sad and mom-guilting myself to death.

Anyway.

Dear Ferris,

You are growing and changing so fast right now! Outgrowing clothes, crawling like a machine and eating real solid food by your very own self.

Last month, you were crawling backwards, and rolling and scooting your way around the house, but just a few short weeks after I wrote that post, you were not only crawling forward, but also starting to pull yourself to stand with furniture. And not only are you pulling yourself to stand, but also getting brave and letting go and trying to take steps. Slow down kid! You’re only 8 months old! You’ll be tearing around this house in no time, I’m sure. Grandma told me that your uncle was walking by 10 months, which I never knew before, so I guess it’s in your blood to get up and get moving. Now, if we could just avoid all your little wipeouts, so when I take you out in public I’m not so embarrassed by the bruises all over your head!

You have four teeth now, and I’m pretty sure you’re about to get two more. Which is what got us in all the trouble with nursing to begin with. You want to bite. You LOVE to BITE. I have to be careful what I let you get your hands on, because you will bite the ever-loving crap out of anything that gets near you. I hope that soon, you will start to teeth a little more gracefully. So we can all just get some SLEEP.

More and more of your personality is shining through each day. I can tell by the foods you like and the foods you reject, the toys you spend more time with and the toys that stay at the bottom of the basket, and the things you watch us do and the things you ignore, just what kind of little man you’ll become soon. But, also in a lot of other ways, you’re a blank slate. This first year is the most amazing time to be a parent, everything is shifting and changing and developing so fast. It’s like being able to watch a flower bloom in real time.

We have had a hard week, you and me, figuring out where we both stand with one another when it comes to nursing and bottle feeding. But, I think we may have found a balance finally. I’m so sorry I couldn’t nurse you as long as I wanted, or even as long as I nursed your brother. But, I feel like I really am doing what is best for the both of us. Which is all that really matters in the end.

I love you my sweet bug.

Mama

 

Six Months

The big six month milestone has arrived! Happy six month birthday to the littlest dude!

The dimples. They go on forever. AMIRITE?

Ferris,

This is one of my favorite ages. Every day is a new and exciting adventure. You’re growing and changing so much! It feels like one minute to the next, you’ve added a zillion new abilities, and you’re attempting a zillion more.

At the doctor, you weighed in at 18 pounds 10 ounces, and you gained a whopping three inches in height just since your 4 month check up in January! The doctor measured you three times, and double checked her records, just to be sure. I bet it’s not every day she sees a big guy like you come in!

I don’t know why I was so excited that you were rolling over. Once you learned it, you didn’t look back. You’re rolling all over the place, and I can’t set you down unattended for 5 seconds! Wow, am I in for it when you start crawling! Which is going to happen soon. You mean business. You are already getting yourself up off the ground with your arms, almost getting up on your knees, and you are scooting backwards. Your brother was a lot older than you when all of this started. Slow down, bug!

At first I didn’t think you liked solid foods, but on a lark I bought you some Baby Mum Mum crackers, and you ate them like they were going out of style. So, it eventually dawned on me that you didn’t want to be spoon fed, you wanted to feed yourself. I didn’t even know this was a thing (but it is, many people have since told me their kiddos were the same way), and I totally went with my mom gut on that one. So, I got you some mesh feeders, and you were on your way. Avocado is tops in your book, followed closely by bananas.

Something I learned about you the same weekend that I cracked the food code, was that you prefer to sleep on your tummy. It’s a little panic inducing for an American mama in 2013 to allow her baby to sleep on his stomach. But, you slept better in one afternoon on your stomach than you did in all of your six months since leaving the hospital. I can’t explain it, I don’t like it, but you are a tummy sleeper.

No teeth yet, but they just have to be coming soon. Sometimes you’re SO fussy, and we have NO idea why, and I just know in my gut that it’s teething related. I hope those suckers make their appearance soon, I’m sure you will be in a better mood. And, bonus, it will open up a whole new world of foods you can feed to yourself.

I was pretty preoccupied this past month, and I feel like it slipped right by me. I hope now that things have slowed down for our family that I can pay more attention, be more in the moment with you. Happy St. Patrick’s Day, and happy six months.

Love,

Mama

Baby on Board

You know those little caution signs you hang in your car’s back window to let everyone know there’s a baby inside? Baby on Board! We don’t have one, I don’t know why, I guess I never felt like spending the money and also saw one for sale at the same time in the same place. But, I’ve heard people complaining about them lately. “You think your baby is so much more special than everyone else on the road, you gotta put a sign in the window that says, hey, look at me, I had a baby! I’m special!” Or something to that effect.

But, I’m here today to tell you it doesn’t mean that at all. Here’s a few things a Baby on Board sign does mean:

–Warning: Distracted Driver. Babies and kids might be a distraction for the driver. Nay, babies and kids ARE ALWAYS a distraction for the driver. Pretty much the entire time they are in the car. Something is amiss–they’re hungry, they’re thirsty, it’s too sunny, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, they have to pee, the straps of their carseat are digging into their shoulders, because they just grew another inch since getting in–whatever it is, they’ve got to YELL and SCREAM about it. And sometimes things are thrown. It’s hard to drive like this. Is it unreasonable to expect the other drivers to deal with that? Totally. But, you’ve been warned.

–Don’t Drive Like a Shit Around Me. Don’t tailgate. Don’t drive 20 miles over the speed limit. Don’t weave in and out of traffic like it’s a damn NASCAR race. I have CHILDREN in my car. Know how much fun it is to rear end someone? Well, guess how much fun it is to rear end someone with kids in their car. Someone who is a grown up, responsible adult (ok, haha, just kidding) that the police are going to side with.

–Save Your Sanity: Don’t Go Where I’m Going. Don’t. Just don’t.

Five Months

My dearest Fer-Bear,

You’re 5 months old!

Mama knows you’re only 5 months old, but the rest of the world swears you look, and act, at least 7 months. Overachiever already.

Unfortunately, though, you’re not a great sleeper. I think you get that from me. I’ve been taking all the advice my bloggy friends have passed on, and you still take tiny, easily-woken-from cat naps all day, and wake up 2-3 times a night to nurse. Let’s forget for a moment that your big brother was fully sleeping through the night by your age. If you could just drop your routine to…one feeding a night, I’d be a happy mama. Oh, and if you could take a regular daytime nap too. Yeah, that’d be great. The only routine thing about your day right now, any day, is that you go to bed between 5:30 and 6 p.m., and sleep until about midnight. I wish I could push that back, even just a half hour, but it’s a routine, so I’ll take it. For now.

You roll over! I’ve usually got you in some seat or swing contraption, or your cosleeper bed which is quickly becoming way too small for you, so you don’t get a lot of chances to practice, but I’ve seen you roll tummy to back and back to tummy once each. That counts, right? You’re also having a love affair with your right foot. Just the right foot. You constantly tug off your right sock, and gnaw on your right foot for hours.

You’re not doing awesome with solid foods. Mama bragged to the Internetz about how you were “sooo ready” to start solids, and it turns out? Not so much. Big brother took to rice cereal like flies to poo, so this came as a big surprise to me. I think you like how it tastes, but you haven’t exactly figured out how to swallow it, and there’s some gagging involved. And half the time you’re still doing that pushing-it-out-of-your-mouth thing, so most of it ends up on the bib instead of in your belly. We still try every couple of days. You’ll get it eventually.

Also, we probably should have named you Smiley. You smile All. The. Time. Even when you are crying, we can get you to smile between wails. It’s adorable. And you don’t just smile, you SMILE. Your eyes light up, your cheeks get those amazing dimples, and you laugh. Such a happy guy. I hope you’re that smiley forever. There’s far too little smiling in this world, you will make it brighter.

And you ADORE your big brother.

You are always looking at him and smiling, and watching him play. Studying him closely, taking notes on how to be a big boy. It’s amazing to see you watch him with such admiration in your eyes, and to see him give you big hugs and kisses. Yay for brothers!

Happy 5 months, little dude! Keep smiling, keep growing, keep learning all there is to learn about your little world. I’m so excited to see all the exciting changes you make this month!

Love,

Mama