I Wish I Had Good News

But I don’t.

The lymph node they removed on Monday tested positive for cancer.

I have cancer.

I mean, we all knew that already, melanoma is cancer. Even if they take the malignant mole, and that’s the end of it, you still had cancer. But, it sort of didn’t really sink in until the surgeon was like, yep, cancer.

I am in a bit of shock. And deeply immersed in the Anger/Depression stage of dealing with things. I probably shouldn’t even be blogging about it yet. But, I wanted to keep everyone up on this.

So. Many. People. are coming forward with stories of their mother, daughter, sister, uncle, brother, grandma, father that had the same situation going on, and has been cancer free for a long time. Which is reassuring. But, my case is still my individual case, and the future is uncertain for me right now.

I do NOT do well with uncertain futures.

All I know right now is that, at the very least, they’re going to go back into my leg and, to quote the surgeon, “clean it out.” That is, take the remaining lymph nodes, and see how those look. There could be other stuff, but that’s on the plate for sure.

And recovering from a surgery while knowing you’re going to have the exact same surgery again in the near future is…disheartening.

I wish I were in a better mood tonight, and like I said, I wish I had better news. But, my bloggy friends, that’s where it stands.

Thanks A MILLION for all the love and support, keep it coming. It means so much to me, and it’s helping me get through my days.