38 Weeks

38 weeks 2 days as of today, and he’s still in there. I was thinking do I post a picture or not? I can’t possibly look that much different from the last picture. But um, HOLY WOW I AM SO MUCH BIGGER.

Click through to see the 36 week picture again, for a frame of reference.

Not much I can tell you that’s new, I’ve complained about it all so much before that I will spare you this week. I alternate about every 30 seconds between paralyzing anxiety about labor and delivery (and parenting two children at once), and wanting him to get out of mama’s belleh right nooooooowwww!

Any time now. Aaaaaaannnnnnnny time now.

P.S. I made the Circle of Moms list! Thanks so much for your votes!!!

Glance Back at the Week

1. The preschool director had requested a meeting with me last week, to “discuss Bowie’s progress and where he is now”. And I sort of dreaded it, just unsure of what they’d tell me or expect me to say. I met with them this past Tuesday and, oh you guys. Amazing meeting. The teachers are completely floored by his behavior, and how far he’s come. The director said he’s “a completely different kid.” They applauded us for putting him in therapy and being persistent with him over the summer, and they said it has paid off in a major way. And they’d even like to use us as an example for future families who might be hesitant to seek help. I used to cry in their office out of frustration and embarrassment, and that day I was able to get misty out of pride and relief. I knew there had been a change in him, but I wasn’t sure others would be able to see it too. But, they were so surprised, and so happy.

2. So, if you’re a semi-regular reader, then you know I had a salmonella infection in 2006. It was a little bit traumatic, and I talk about it a lot, using my blog as a therapist (thanks you guys, you’re way cheaper than an actual therapist) and I like to get the word out about recalls and warnings. Because it was hell on earth, and I just don’t want to see anyone else get it. But I have to say that lately, I am pretty freaking overwhelmed with the news stories and warnings and recalls and possible contaminations and outbreaks. They are everywhere I turn. Peanut butter and mangoes and lettuce and spinach and canteloupe and tomatoes and ground turkey and MY GOD MAKE IT STOP. It’s enough to make even the bravest eater among us wonder if anything we ever put in our mouths is safe. And being pregnant makes it even scarier, because it’s not just about me right now, ya know? Funny story (also that you’ve probably already heard)–when I went into labor with Bowie, I actually thought I’d contracted salmonella again. The gastrointestinal distress, the abdominal cramping, it was all so reminiscent of my illness. I told my husband to take me to the hospital because I was sick and I didn’t want to hurt the baby. He could see through the crazy and knew I was in labor, but I was inconsolable, surely I’d somehow gotten salmonella again, and now my baby had it too. Wow, the crazy, looking back.

3. Since Tuesday, I have been having some mild cramping and lots of pelvic pressure. I’m sure I have a ways to go yet, but it’s nice to feel like things are progressing a little bit. I am SO hungry. All the time. It’s nuts. (Mmmm, nuts.) And between the peeing, the sore hips, the sweating to death and the insane dreams, sleep is a thing of the past. I’m trying to learn to cope with it, instead of complain about it, because I know I won’t be getting sleep anytime soon.

4. For your weekly dose of insane cute: Bowie found this outfit in the dress up area at school. It’s a witch’s dress, but some of the trim is green with spiders and spiderwebs on it. And he’s totally latched on to the thing, proclaiming it the “Nice Spiderman Princess” outfit. He wears it all afternoon at school, and the other night I just couldn’t get it off of him, so he wore it out to dinner too. And the the whole next afternoon at school, and following evening. It’s so cute and hilarious, and we can’t wait to show him pictures when he graduates high school.

36 Weeks

36 weeks, people! THIRTY SIX WEEKS!

I have some way, somehow, made it to the last month of this pregnancy! It feels like it’s taken for-EV-er (not helped by the fact that the owner of our corner market says “I thought you were due like, last week?” every single time I walk in there. Which is a lot. Ahem.) but here we are!

I am almost as giddy as I imagine I will be on my due date, because the next four weeks have the full, busy promise of flying by at light speed. Doctor’s appointments, preschool duties, final preparations. My days will be full. And short.

I’m still getting that question: How are you feeling?

If I had to pick just one word, I’d say “tired”. If I got an extra word, I would say “hungry”.

I don’t sleep well at night anymore. It’s a 7 to 8 hour battle of wills with my own body. I have to pee approximately every 2 hours. And that’s if I don’t have a beverage with my dinner. I also have to roll over every hour or so, because for some reason if I lie on one side for too long, the hip I’ve been lying on is excruciatingly sore. Only relieved by lying on my back (NOT ALLOWED) or rolling over to the other side to start the process over again. I remember having a hard time sleeping toward the end of my pregnancy with Bowie too. But back then I had the luxury of naps. And days off.

Also, Bowie used to sleep very reliably until 7 a.m. but has lately taken to waking at more of the 5:30 or 6 a.m. hour. We have been letting him lay in bed with us in the hopes that all three of us can snooze for another hour, but that rarely works.

My days are also very tiring themselves. Some days just getting from the front of our house to the back is exhausting. So, you know, those days when I actually do stuff, like go grocery shopping and sweeping the floors and doing a couple of loads of laundry, I’m ready for bed by 6 p.m.

And the thing with my appetite. I’m hungry ALL. THE. TIME. Always. It never ends. I will finish a meal, a big, satisfying meal, and I will feel really full. For about a half hour. “I’m starving.” “Didn’t you just eat that big turkey sandwich from the deli?” “That was a whole 20 minutes ago, fool!” Thank goodness I haven’t gained that much weight this pregnancy, or I’d feel bad for stuffing my face so much.

My last pregnancy, I ate anything and everything in sight. But this time, I have to watch what I eat pretty closely because of the diabetes. So, I have to find easy go-to snack foods that are high in protein, low in carbs, fairly healthy and not sugary. Cheese. I eat a lot of cheese.

Baby has also moved a bit lower into my pelvis in the last couple of days. Getting out of bed, getting off the couch, getting out of the car and really just walking are a JOKE. Well, not exactly. Jokes are funny. This BLOWS. So much pain, radiating from my pelvis and hips all the way down my legs. And forget the “pregnancy waddle”, this is more in the camp of “pregnancy hobble along like a 90 year old with arthritis in every joint who can’t find her walker”. My belly is also so much bigger than it was with Bowie. I was looking at some old pictures, and even a couple of weeks ago, I was bigger than I was at 38 weeks with Bowie. Right now, I’m about twice the size of that old picture, and I’m still only 36 weeks along with this guy. What the what? So, enormous pressure I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing before. And I thought I knew all that was in store for me.

But, all things considered, I’m doing fine. Dealing with all of this while having to run around after Bowie was a little terrifying at first. But, we’re doing all right. All my other bothersome symptoms I’ve either gotten used to or they’ve thankfully waned a bit.

Now I get to psych myself up for labor, a labor I’m really optimistically envisioning is shorter and easier than my first go around, because I’m also optimistically hoping to get through it without resorting to the epidural. Not that I’m against epidurals in any way. But, I had one with Bowie and it mucked things up a bit. Slowed my labor down considerably, and so they gave me drugs to speed it back up again, which caused some serious contractions, which lowered Bowie’s heart rate to dangerous levels, which meant an almost C-section. Also, I had the shakes and nausea for at least 8 or 9 hours after the damn thing wore off. So, please let me do this without an epidural this time? Optimism! Yay!

I’m also thinking a lot about Bowie. He knows there’s a new baby coming, a baby who will be his little brother, but I know he is completely unaware of the bomb that’s about to drop on his little life. It’s a huge shift in reality for an already very sensitive four year old. My poor little guy. But, I just know he’s going to be a great big brother. We were sitting and having a heart-to-heart the other day and I said, “You won’t be sad if mommy and daddy are busy with baby brother and can’t help you with something, will you?”

And he said matter-of-factly, “No, mama, I’m going to have to help you with baby brother.” Heart: melted.

Thanks for hanging in there with me for this whole crazy, whiny ride. Almost there, almost there, almost there…

Friday Post Which Needs a Better Name

1. It just dawned on me last week as I scrambled to put together a Friday post that it was likely not a very good plan to institute a weekly post regimen right before giving birth. So, this tradition may disappear as quickly as it began. We shall see.

2. As the baby gets bigger and moves lower, it’s getting really painful to stand and walk. So you know, nothing important or anything. One trip to a store is like 3 or 4 trips to the bathroom. Annoying.

3. Thank you for the comments on here and on Twitter about the differences between children. I am not freaking out that much anymore about figuring out a new kid all over again. I did it once, I can do it again. And this time I have most of the basics under my belt to rely upon.

4. The swearing has improved. A little. But it’s still happening. And he’s also added “stupid” and “shut up” to his regular rotation. Which, while not those evil swear words society has deemed unacceptable, they still aren’t great things to be throwing around at preschool. And now, I have a new issue: he likes to lie and say he heard me say a certain word (which 99% of the time is really a lie, I’ve been on my best behavior). So, what do I do with that? He doesn’t quite get the concept of lying, so saying, “Stop lying!” does nothing but make him crack up.

5. Preschool starts back up on Wednesday. All at once too soon (because this reminds me I need to start shopping around for a KINDERGARTEN, my GOD) and not soon enough. I need a break. And a solo trip to Target.

6. Nesting, nesting, NESTING! I never went through this when I was pregnant with Bowie. I am crazy. I reorganized my tampons, people. Officially Sunday, I am 36 weeks pregnant, leaving just 4 short weeks until my due date. And yesterday I had a small moment of panic thinking of how soon this could happen if he came a little early (hey, a girl can dream). Could be as early as 2 weeks, right? So I flipped out a little and organized and reorganized everything. Washed all the baby’s clothes, ordered the final needs from Amazon. Then spent the late afternoon in a near-coma on the couch.

7. I have been nominated again by Circle of Moms for a blog award, this time Top 25 NorCal Moms 2012. If you have a spare moment, go here and vote for Very Bloggy. And your other NorCal favorites too, of course. You can vote once per day, and there’s 2 weeks left to vote. Thank you all for your support, with this and everything else!

8. This picture is actually already as old as last weekend, but it’s so cute, I think I might get arrested if I don’t post it on my blog. He fell off his bike going “down the big huge hill that goes under the cool bridge”. Biggest ouchie he’s had to date, I think.

Friday Digest 2

1. So, August. It took forever to get here, but now it’s finally here. This is the last full calendar month I will be pregnant. I mean, even if The Littlest Dude is late, he’ll still be born before the end of September. And if he’s early? He could be born at the end of THIS MONTH. Ecstatic=the only word for how that makes me feel. Here’s some perspective for you: I’ve been pregnant for all of 2012. Yep. Found out right after New Year’s. Think about that for a sec. About ready for this to be over, and the next phase of my life to start. Even though it’s going to be a little bit crazy for a while.

2. After our horrid park experience at the beginning of this week (see last post), we had an amazing experience yesterday. Within minutes of us arriving, Bowie had a small (and I mean small) run-in with another boy around his age, and came up to me and deemed the other kid “mean and stupid.” My heartbeat sped up and I thought, “Here we go again.” And I prepared myself for another embarrassing exit. But, but, but…a few minutes later Bowie was playing alone and the other kid walked up again and pointed out some bird poop. Which they both found completely hilarious. And the other kid says, “Hey, let’s go slide!” Bowie says enthusiastically, “Ok!” And off they went. They went up and down the slide for a solid hour after that, and when I told Bowie it was time to leave, he said, “Not until I’m done sliding with my friend!” This for him was an amazing experience, I’m sure. Especially given that he’d gotten a bad impression of the other boy at first, but was able to overcome that. And given that a couple of times they disagreed on the rules of their sliding game, and they accidentally crashed into each other, and Bowie did fine. In the past, that would have set him off. I can envision him having a great final year at preschool. Which, let me tell you, was NOT what I was thinking just three months ago.

3. Speaking of preschool: 19 days until we’re back. 19 days. 19 days. 19 days.

4. Ran across this quote on Pinterest today: “If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” Which piqued my curiosity. Not exactly a year ago today, but a year ago Sunday, I was having this conversation. So I have a safe assumption of what was on my mind. And I’m still healing today, but I’m so happy to have come as far as I have, and I’m so, so, so excited for our future, which I surely was not last August.

5. Holla at your girl for being featured on ChatterBlockSF on their list of Best Parenting Blogs in the Bay Area. As always, an honor. Still in complete denial of how many people actually end up here, and actually take a minute to read something. Amazing feeling, and means so much. Thanks to all my readers. And to be included with some of my own favorites (like Using Our Words and Rookie Moms) is so amazing.

And I leave you with probably the cutest dog video I’ve ever seen.

 

Friday Digest

These quickie lists have become sort of my thang for Fridays. I have to come up with some clever title/category for them. Ideas?

1. I’m excited to get caught up in fashion when I’m out of maternity wear. For one thing, I’m very optimistic about my post-baby weight loss. Being on the diabetic diet has helped me stay at a nice, healthy pregnancy weight, and while baby continues to grow, my weight dropped a little, and is now hovering in the area of 160, just 10 measly pounds over where I was before I got pregnant. The OB wasn’t all too happy about my weight at my checkup, but as long as the little man’s doing fine, I’m not going to change my routine. I can’t really do anything differently anyway, I’m not eating any less, just less of the stuff they TOLD me to eat less of! Ok, and also, I spent the year before I got pregnant either thinking I’d be pregnant or feeling pretty depressed, and deciding what to wear everyday was such an afterthought. One of the three pairs of jeans that fit me, a plain t-shirt, a plain sweatshirt, and my Sauconys. Every day. So, I’m excited to break that mold. Experiment with color. Get exciting. And since nothing I owned before will fit me anyway: SHOPPING! I won’t be able to go crazy or anything but, SHOPPING!

2. Yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary (holla!). Since both of our babysitters recently relocated, and because we’re not super on the ball about making plans ahead of time, we pretty well resigned ourselves to the fact that Bowie would be accompanying us if we decided to go out to dinner. We made reservations at a semi-fancy place, and prepared Bowie for it in the morning. “We’re going to have dinner at a fancy restaurant because today is the day mommy and daddy got married. It’s our ann-i-ver-sary.” He was very excited and chatty about it all the way to school that morning. And, our usual routine at school is to grab a book and get cozy and read it until it’s time to sign in and sing welcome songs. When we got to school he made a mad dash for a “special book”, searching the many bookshelves that dot the whole building, finally finding the book he wanted. It was Froggy Eats Out, which is not only about a little froggy who goes out to eat at a fancy restaurant, but it’s also this froggy’s parents’ anniversary. What?! My kid is so smart and cute, you guys. And he was a (mostly) perfect little angel, and we all had a great dinner. He “dressed up” in his favorite shirt from Hawaii and he even got his own glass tumbler of juice, which was just a little bit too cute. Exhibit A:

3. I’m starting to have those “what was I thinking?!” moments of pregnancy, thinking about the near future. Not in any way like I wish I weren’t pregnant or anything like that, but just, you know, what was I thinking?! I remember having those thoughts with Bowie too. What have I done to our marriage? What have I done to the pets? Will life ever be as simple and carefree as before? (Hints: Improved it. Nothing. No, but you won’t care.) I know it’s just regular old cold feet, but I need those thoughts to just skee-daddle already, I don’t need any extra anxiety right now. No, I really don’t.

4. Today was Bowie’s final therapy session. We might do what the therapist called a “refresher” right after school starts, but he’s pretty well done. It seems like it went so fast, but then I remember we started this whole process back in April. Well, late February if you want to count the first time we met with the teachers about it. Of course he still has his moments, but there have been improvements by leaps and bounds. Today at school, I got to witness him enter into a sensitive situation (another kid got too close for Bowie’s comfort) and raise his hand to act out violently, and then change his mind and not follow through. One of the biggest exhales of my life. His newest challenge is allowing the adults to deal with a peer who is not following the rules. He’s been extremely sensitive to it lately, and the therapist says it’s just because he’s aware now that he’s trying so hard to stay in line, and he doesn’t get why everyone else can’t do that too. Makes sense. But still, another hurdle to overcome.

5. Today was the last day of summer school. Regular school starts back up again August 22. I am 33 weeks pregnant and will be alone with a 4 year old for the next 3 1/2 weeks. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Ready to Rock (Mama, at least)

The bump, 32 weeks:

We took a tour this week of the labor and delivery ward, and the recovery floor at the hospital. We had Bowie at the same hospital, and truthfully could have lived without taking the tour a second time. But, it’s free and the last time we were there is a bit of a blur for me, so I signed us up.

I remember taking the tour the first time, and how anxious and nervous and unprepared it made me feel. The sight of the OR made me break out into a cold sweat. I had no idea what I was in for. I knew contractions hurt, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle it. And I had just learned the term “Ring of Fire” as applied to labor and delivery. I was freaking out.

We were the only couple on the tour this time who had an older child, and I could see the fear in the other women’s eyes, but me? I was cool as a cucumber. I wanted to give them all a big hug and let them know, “Yes, you CAN do this! It’s not that scary! It’s not that bad!” One of the women even asked in horror if she might poo on the table. Adorable.

My attitude was more like, “Ok, there’s a free room? Let’s do this thing people. What? You mean I still have two months left? Come on.”

Neither I nor my husband could really remember for sure, but we think the recovery room she took everyone in to see was the one we were staying in when we had Bowie. And, it probably wasn’t the same delivery room she showed us, but they’re all the same. I remember everything looking so much bigger before. More intimidating or something. Kind of like when I left middle school for high school, and a year or so later I was back in the middle school building and everything looked so tiny to me. It was that exact feeling.

Especially the hallway from the recovery room to the front desk. That hallway was LONG and OMINOUS at 18 hours into recovery, when everyone was saying, “Just go take a walk around!” Yeah, no big deal, it’s not like you have half a dozen stitches in your hoo-ha or anything! When I looked at that “hallway” on the tour, I realized it was more like…a corner?

I don’t feel like a totally seasoned expert or anything. I mean, I’ve only done this once before, 4 years ago. There’s still a small amount of fear, given that I actually know this time what contractions feel like. And I pretty well remember the anarchist revolt that was my digestive system reacting to labor. And I don’t think I want another epidural, but what will that be like? What if I do want one, will it be the same as before? And recovery with a 4 year old, what’s that like?

But, I do feel pretty confident and empowered. Not at all like I did on my first tour all those years ago. So, get all your growing on, little man, but feel free to make your grand entrance a little early, it’s okay with mama.

It’s Friday, Friday, Gotta Get Down on Friday

1. I can’t believe how busy I’ve been lately. This week we had three doctor’s appointments in one day. And that was only Tuesday. There were more. On the plus side, it’s been making the weeks of pregnancy fly by maniacally. On the minus side, I’m so exhausted by the end of every day, I don’t have the energy to clean the house, feed us, read blogs, write my own blog, really anything that involves movement. Even if the only movement involved is of my eyes. I have to store up all the energy I have left to heave my huge pregnant body off the couch to pee every 20 minutes.

2. I’ve been hammering away at a lengthy, possibly controversial, emotional? post about breastfeeding. Hoping to gather the courage to hit “publish” one of these days.

3. The gestational diabetes thing has been going well. I only had a couple of readings over the limit, and the nurse said I only need to be at 80% to avoid needing medication or insulin, so I’m doing really well. But, when I went in for my second appointment, to go over the numbers, the receptionist took my meter and totally downloaded all the numbers into a computer. Didn’t even know they were gonna do that. I can’t flub the numbers. At all. (Not that the thought ever crossed my mind of course. Ahem.) I can’t go indulge once in the bacon waffle from Beachside and then just sort of make something up to make it all look normal. Suddenly I feel really confined by it, not being able to say, “Just eff it.” Just for one meal, one day, after weeks of behaving myself. I’m in this for the long haul. Nine more weeks of “Yay, my post-dinner blood sugar looks ok, I can have one small bite of that brownie.” In case you’re keeping track, that means approximately 250 more finger pokings, give or take.

4. I feel enormous. Ok, I know I said that before, like months ago. Stupid me. How could I forget how much bigger I would be feeling. And getting. And I just read something yesterday that said the baby now weighs about 3 pounds. Which means in the next 9 weeks, he’s going to gain somewhere in the area of 5 or 6 more pounds. And judging by his movement lately, he’s gonna need a lot more belly room for that. So, the mama expands. I can barely bend over to pick anything up. I’ve been enlisting Bowie’s help a lot with this lately (because how cruel is it that as pregnancy progresses, you can’t bend over to pick anything up, but you also become a lot more clumsy?) and PLEASE DON’T HATE ME but last week I dropped a gum wrapper on the sidewalk and I…totally left it there PLEASE DON’T HATE ME.

5. But, I’m trying to remember that I will, for some screwball reason, miss being pregnant. I know I did after having Bowie. It was so much easier having him safe inside me. And I had some mega crazy postpartum ugly cries about not being able to shove Bowie back in because why did I bring a helpless little person into this crazy world?! Why?! So yeah, the 9 weeks will pass, and the baby will be here, and I will be a frazzled, hormonal mess. Let’s enjoy the “quiet” time of only having one kid, and having the world be perfectly content to wait on me hand and foot because of the belly.

6. Because I know I got the earwig stuck in your head anyway, a bonus:

Let There Be Carbs

I just returned home from my appointment with the diabetes center at my hospital, and all I can say is HALLELUJA.

The nurse I spoke with was shocked at how much I’d cut back on the carbs. But, I explained, the women’s clinic didn’t offer me much information at all, except to “cut way back” and I wanted to play it safe.

This makes me wonder why hospital policy isn’t that someone from the diabetes center calls you within 48 hours of your diagnosis to just give you a quick run-down of things over the phone, rather than make you wait 10 days in the dark until you can get an appointment. But, I know none of you are part of my hospital’s administration so…end of rant.

She had a lot more info than I found anywhere on the Internet too. She tailored a diet plan for me based on my results and my health (before and during pregnancy), which is so helpful. And she said I can probably afford to have a much more significant amount of carbs than other women. This means bread! Crackers! Pasta! Just keeping it to a reasonable amount, of course.

I treated myself to a tuna sub from Subway for lunch, just to see what numbers came up and: totally normal. So, that slice of pizza I “indulged” in Sunday night? Probably no biggie whatsoever. I can still eat (basically) what I want to. I’m so relieved. I’ll be full for more than a half hour at a time! I won’t be so crabby all the time!

The womp womp news is that I do have to test my blood sugar periodically. FOUR TIMES A DAY at least for this first week. But, our insurance got me a pretty sweet little monitor with “gentle” lancets.

I’ve already tested twice today and it’s not so bad. I’m even typing away with the fingers I’ve tested, no issue whatsoever. I had this image in my head of me having to test like, every hour, and my fingertips would be so sore I couldn’t do anything. Not so. Still a pain to do, and to remember to do, but I only have 11 weeks left. And I actually have to birth this little man. So, you know, I can handle this.

I want to really give a shout out to the fellow moms who gave me so much info on past posts. It really helped me feel better, and I got some much needed firsthand info when I was totally clueless. Thank you thank you thank you!

Highlights for the Week

>>I’m a lot less worried now about the whole gestational diabetes thing than I was. I had an appointment with a different midwife, who was much more informed, and she said I’m a very borderline case, and to not really sweat it. I also made an appointment for next week with the diabetes clinic, and I hope to leave there finally fully informed. I am managing to get through the days, but I carry hardboiled eggs or cheese sticks with me wherever I go now, in case hunger strikes. Before, if I was out and about and got hungry, I’d get a soft pretzel or a Jamba Juice, or some other terrible convenience food item. But that’s all off limits now so…better carry something with me. And I’m trying to get more vegetables in there, even though I don’t enjoy most veggies cooked, and raw veggies have a tendency to wreak havoc on my overly sensitive digestive system. I ate vegetables before, of course, but I had the carbs to sort of carry things along, and give my stomach more to work on than just raw vegetables. Work in progress. I’m hoping I get some permission to indulge in some carbs once in a while. The longer I go without the sugary stuff, the less I miss it. But the carbs? Oh man, what I wouldn’t do to rip into a crusty baguette right now.

>>We went on a mini little staycation to Davis over the weekend, and on Sunday Bowie started showing signs of a bladder infection. Symptoms had mostly cleared up by Tuesday morning when I finally got him in to see the doctor, so we figured it was a reaction to the chemicals in the hotel swimming pool, common with young kids. But she took a urine sample anyway. Yesterday she told me the culture had shown something a little worrisome, so now he’s on antibiotics. Whenever we give him medicine, he is very curious as to why he’s getting it, what it’s for. So I said, “Remember when your penis was hurting when you went potty? It’s to make sure that won’t happen anymore.” So now he’s telling everyone he’s taking “penis medicine”. Thankfully most of the people we spend time with also have preschoolers at home and figure there’s some logical explanation that goes along with that.

>>I was thinking forward to the holiday season, and the little traditional get-togethers we have both here in the city and with family across the country, and I was (very shallowly) bummed I wouldn’t be able to drink wine for some of it, but then it dawned on me that Yes! I can! I will have the baby by New Year’s. I will have the baby by Christmas. I will have the baby by Thanksgiving. YOU GUYS: I’m going to be the mother of two sons by Halloween. Every time that “X more weeks” makes me feel like I’ve got forever to go, I’m going to try to remember this. And that by this time next year, I’ll be lamenting that baby is getting too big too fast.

>>Bowie’s behavior at school has been so awesome lately (KNOCK ON WOOD). I know it has a lot to do with the fact that there’s about half the amount of other kids there as there are during the regular school year. But, I’d like to think the therapy is helping a bit (we’re 3 sessions in). The teachers and most of the other parents totally get it, and are super supportive and give me nice “you’ll get through it” arm squeezes, and still invite us on playdates because they know what’s going on. There are a handful though, that are overly concerned about his behavior, and have even tried to intervene (I mean, aside from their duties as a working parent at school). But lately he has been on par with just being an average 4 year old. He gets a toy taken away from him and pushes the other kid. Even though 10 minutes earlier, Sally Jo had a toy taken away from her and pushed the other kid, because it’s Bowie, they hone in on his behavior as something that needs to be fixed, rehabilitated, reformed, but Sally Jo? Oh, she’s just being a kid. It’s SO hard to deal with this. Bowie isn’t acting out, he’s reacting to stimuli that most of the other kids can easily brush off. And I also feel like a huge part of him getting past this is being treated like the other kids, especially when he’s acting like the other kids, when he’s back on their level. I’m a little emotional about lately it because I’m pregnant feeling protective of him, wondering what’s being said to him when I’m not around. And I’m proud of him for the incredible strides he’s already made. And when the therapist tells me how bright and creative and sweet he is, I just want to hug her until I break her in half. Now, if she could just hold a seminar at school where she just talks about how awesome my kid is if you just give him a chance…

>>I just wrote a whole paragraph about the weather, and then deleted it. Who blogs about the weather?! (A busy mama with writer’s block, that’s who.)

Happy weekend and happy Independence Day!