Today we finish up the first two weeks of Kindergarten. I’m still having a hard time believing I’m an elementary school mom now (PTA membership and Room Mom days on the horizon and EVERYTHING). But, I’m sure by the end of the year, after all the packed lunches, morning announcements, Pledges of Allegiance, permission slips and homework that it will all feel natural to me.

The Friday afternoon before the first day, we were able to go see the school, see his classroom and meet his teacher. He was very shy at first, and a little hesitant to even go into the classroom. But, once he started seeing his name all over the room, and once he found his cubby and desk, it was like he’d been going there all his life.

There have been some…behavior issues. But his teacher can already recognize that he’s triggered by lots of commotion and noise, and being with a lot of kids at once. He’s completely fine in the classroom, even sitting nicely at his desk or on the rug and listening when she’s talking. It’s lunch and recess that give him trouble. And it’s largely a product of him reacting to what other kids are doing and saying, much more so than in preschool where he was often the one starting stuff. I’m not going to worry too much about it right now, he’s still adjusting, and so are the other kids. Instead I’m choosing to focus on the fact that he’s behaving in the classroom. A year ago I’d never have thought he could do it.

When he gets home from school, we have the typical “what did you learn today?” “I don’t know.” conversation. But, then if I just sit and listen, as he gets to talking, I find out that he painted, played Mr. Potato Head, saw preschool friends at recess, went to the gym, had a music class, went to the library. He’s definitely becoming a full-fledged elementary school kid. And loving it.

Ten Months

Dear Ferris,

I JUST started getting used to saying that you were 9 months old, and now you’ve gone and turned 10 months old already! That last month went lickety split.

We are in the home stretch now, the first birthday is just 2 months away. TWO MONTHS. That’s only 8 weeks. EIGHT WEEKS. Then you can try all the things, my adventurous little eater. Milk! Nuts! Honey! Eggs! Berries! (Wait, you’ve been eating eggs and berries for a while now, WHOOPS.)

Socially, you are blossoming. You like to “talk” to other babies. Like, A LOT. Social butterfly already. You’re a little wary of grown ups you don’t know super well, and you hide your head in mama’s shoulder. You LOVE to snuggle with mama, and you give such great baby hugs and kisses. THE BEST.

You’re not walking yet, but you’re darn close. You’re cruising furniture like a boss, and you like to pull stunts like this:

And you can climb stuff now, so when I turn my back you’re pulling stunts like this:

You want to do everything big brother Bowie can do! And you’re not afraid to try! Just ask the half dozen bruises you have on your big noggin at any given moment. Good thing you are a second kid, and not a first kid, or they’d have to put me in a padded room.

You’re way ahead of where Bowie was at your age with the crawling and walking and climbing stuff. But on other stuff, you’re doing things a lot differently. You’re taller than Bowie was at your age, but roughly the same weight. Which has made pants shopping a bit of a challenge. ALREADY. Man, just wait until those teen years! Also, Bowie was waking up with dry diapers by 11 months old, and you’re filling up diapers made especially for overnight like you’re testing the integrity of the product (p.s. Pampers, he leaked through one last night.)

It’s funny, I feel like the last month zipped by, but I can also see how far you’ve come in just one month. Growing and changing and becoming a little man right before our very eyes.

Love you, sweetness! Here’s to another great month!






Nine Months

Hey Ferris,

You’re nine months old today. Stop it. Just stop it! Stop growing up!

But seriously.


You’re a heaping hunk of kiddo, weighing in at 22 pounds and wearing mostly 12 month clothing already. I actually bypassed most of the 9 month sized clothing I had saved from Bowie’s baby days, and took them directly to the kids’ consignment shop, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

You are currently (and very ungracefully) cutting your 7th tooth, maybe the 8th too, but you hardly ever let us in for a peek. I just have to guess by your behavior and appetite and sleeping patterns, and then a few fussy days later get a glimpse of the little grain of rice tooth poking through.

You also have a terrible, unsightly, and I’m sure painful red rash all over your face. I am pretty sure it’s from all the drool you get all over your face, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s it. I started cutting some stuff out of your diet to see if it has any effect. Time will tell. In the meantime, I’ve gotten the 50th different brand of ointment/cream/lotion to put on it that was recommended, so we’ll see if that helps too.

You aren’t walking yet. THANK GOODNESS. Exhale. I really thought you would be. BUT, you are also not far off. You are cruising around coffee tables and park benches like you’re  some kind of one year old or something. Your brother was MUCH older when he started this business. So, you know, you could slow down ANY TIME NOW.

I love how adventurous I am with your food. Yes, me. Not you, me. I was a little hesitant to introduce certain foods to your big brother, and I’m kicking myself in the butt for it. But, I also was more eager to introduce him to things (such as, JUICE, the five-letter J-demon) which I deeply regret. Thank you for drinking bottles full of water at meal time. I am 5 years ahead of schedule with cutting juice out of your diet. Mom win.

At the moment, there’s one 8-ounce bag of breast milk in the freezer. It’s our last, and I can’t decide if I’d rather save it for a rainy day, or just give it to you now. All I do know is that the other night, I thawed our second to last bag and spilled half of it on the counter trying to get it into the bottle, and then cried myself to sleep that night. Still not over the fact that your one year birthday is still 3 months away, but we are not nursing anymore. I know you’re ok, and healthy, and thriving, and still love me and all of that.

Love you too kiddo. Like, SO much.




Bowie crawled in bed with us at 4 a.m. on his birthday, something about bad dreams. And when he woke up, he turned to look at Brien and the first thing out of his mouth was, “Am I five now?”

He has been looking forward to being five since the day after he turned four. And the day finally came. It was a bright, sunny day, perfect for celebrating a birthday. AND for graduating from preschool. Yes, these happened on the same day. After graduation, we skipped grad parties and drove around in Brien’s VW (aka Daddy’s Race Car) through the park and past the beach. Then we took him out to his favorite neighborhood restaurant for a cheese quesadilla, spanish rice and refried beans–his ultimate meal. After that, we walked to the beach, played with one of the two sets of stomp rockets he got as gifts, and caught a gorgeous sunset. It was a whirlwind of a day for all of us, but in the end so, so joyous and amazing.

Saturday we had his birthday party at our house. It was a rock and roll themed party, so things got fairly hectic. If anyone reading this was around to witness my Mommy Meltdown, I have to apologize to you. Retrospectively, it was a really awesome birthday party, but to have to deal with messes and preschooler arguments and where the pizzas will go and when we will do the cake, all while kids are hitting drums and cymbals as hard as they can, well it can really take the wind out of your sails.

Sunday was The Big Show for his second session of Rock Band Land. He killed it. All the kids killed it. So awesome. I’m actually sad that Bowie won’t be taking it again until September, it has an amazing effect on him. We went to pick him up after rehearsal and he was as chipper as can be. And he sat (mostly) quietly in my lap for the whole show until his performance. I can’t remember the last time he willingly sat still in my lap. And because he loves music and his rock band so much, we decided his big present this year would be this:

Dearest, sweetest Bowie,

I look at you today and I am amazed. You’re so far from baby or even toddler. You’re a bona fide kid now. You’re all limbs and smiles and blonde hair.

You’re super sensitive, and the world doesn’t always understand you. On top of that, you have been through a lot in the past year, but your moxie is still shining through.

You were diagnosed with SPD, just over a year ago. Which on the one hand was so helpful for all of us to know, and we are working to get past it. But on the other hand is so difficult to know and to deal with. I never wanted you to have the sensitive childhood I had, and it breaks my heart to see you dealing with too much sound, too much light, too much touch. Life is hard enough without the extra troubles. But, I can tell you’re a lot more resilient than your mama. And now that we know what’s going on, we can tailor your world for you.

This year, you also became a big brother. Which I know was very difficult for you. To go from being the center of everyone’s world to having to share that spotlight with someone else. But you’re a champ. And that little brother is already looking up to you with some mega admiration. I hope you can and want to set great examples for him in all of your life.

This year you also started Rock Band Land! You have been having SO MUCH FUN making music with Brian and Marcus, and performing at the Big Show. We’re going to look into getting you lessons for any instrument you want–even drums! It was one of the best moments of my life to see your reaction when you first saw your new guitar. You had an amazed and bewildered look on your face, and you turned around and gave your daddy a giant hug, and then gave me a giant hug. And you said thank you over and over all day. You also ran to your room and hand selected a toy for each of us from your collection to say thanks. It was so sweet!

There’s a very, very sweet boy inside of you that I wish the world could see as much as we do. I wish I could walk by your side for the rest of your life to help explain your “bad” and “erratic” behavior to people, but I won’t be able to. But today, I remind myself, you’re only five, and I can still help out for now. We’ll keep working on it, and we’ll get there someday.

My litte rock star. So excited to turn five, so excited to start Kindergarten. Excited to grow up to be “an astronaut. Or a race car driver.”

Future’s so bright, you gotta wear shades.

Five is climbing the dunes at the beach by yourself. Five is not always having to hold hands to cross the street. Five is electric guitars and remote control cars. From where I sit, five is going to be pretty awesome.

Have a great year buddy, I love you.



Eight Months

Ferris is eight months old now people. EIGHT. MONTHS. I can’t believe it! Two-thirds of the way through is first year already. Insane!

As for how breastfeeding is going…it’s complicated. Just three hours after I hit publish on my last post, he refused to nurse, and I haven’t been able to get him to nurse since. Which is gut-wrenching. He’s only 8 months old. I really wanted to go for much longer.

And while I think I still will be able to provide breast milk for him to drink, I don’t think I can provide enough for him to subsist on just that, at least for the next few months, so I’m trying slowly to work formula back into the equation. It’s difficult to pump and keep up with his appetite, but I’m trying a bunch of stuff suggested by my lactation consultant friends, and I hope to up the supply just a bit. I’m not sure how this will all shake out, but my end goal is to offer a mix of breast milk and formula and hope he gets what he needs out of it. I never envisioned pumping to be THIS huge of an ordeal. Nor did I ever expect him to fully and completely reject nursing. Or would seriously have just put up with all the biting. I’m frustrated and sad and mom-guilting myself to death.


Dear Ferris,

You are growing and changing so fast right now! Outgrowing clothes, crawling like a machine and eating real solid food by your very own self.

Last month, you were crawling backwards, and rolling and scooting your way around the house, but just a few short weeks after I wrote that post, you were not only crawling forward, but also starting to pull yourself to stand with furniture. And not only are you pulling yourself to stand, but also getting brave and letting go and trying to take steps. Slow down kid! You’re only 8 months old! You’ll be tearing around this house in no time, I’m sure. Grandma told me that your uncle was walking by 10 months, which I never knew before, so I guess it’s in your blood to get up and get moving. Now, if we could just avoid all your little wipeouts, so when I take you out in public I’m not so embarrassed by the bruises all over your head!

You have four teeth now, and I’m pretty sure you’re about to get two more. Which is what got us in all the trouble with nursing to begin with. You want to bite. You LOVE to BITE. I have to be careful what I let you get your hands on, because you will bite the ever-loving crap out of anything that gets near you. I hope that soon, you will start to teeth a little more gracefully. So we can all just get some SLEEP.

More and more of your personality is shining through each day. I can tell by the foods you like and the foods you reject, the toys you spend more time with and the toys that stay at the bottom of the basket, and the things you watch us do and the things you ignore, just what kind of little man you’ll become soon. But, also in a lot of other ways, you’re a blank slate. This first year is the most amazing time to be a parent, everything is shifting and changing and developing so fast. It’s like being able to watch a flower bloom in real time.

We have had a hard week, you and me, figuring out where we both stand with one another when it comes to nursing and bottle feeding. But, I think we may have found a balance finally. I’m so sorry I couldn’t nurse you as long as I wanted, or even as long as I nursed your brother. But, I feel like I really am doing what is best for the both of us. Which is all that really matters in the end.

I love you my sweet bug.



Six Months

The big six month milestone has arrived! Happy six month birthday to the littlest dude!

The dimples. They go on forever. AMIRITE?


This is one of my favorite ages. Every day is a new and exciting adventure. You’re growing and changing so much! It feels like one minute to the next, you’ve added a zillion new abilities, and you’re attempting a zillion more.

At the doctor, you weighed in at 18 pounds 10 ounces, and you gained a whopping three inches in height just since your 4 month check up in January! The doctor measured you three times, and double checked her records, just to be sure. I bet it’s not every day she sees a big guy like you come in!

I don’t know why I was so excited that you were rolling over. Once you learned it, you didn’t look back. You’re rolling all over the place, and I can’t set you down unattended for 5 seconds! Wow, am I in for it when you start crawling! Which is going to happen soon. You mean business. You are already getting yourself up off the ground with your arms, almost getting up on your knees, and you are scooting backwards. Your brother was a lot older than you when all of this started. Slow down, bug!

At first I didn’t think you liked solid foods, but on a lark I bought you some Baby Mum Mum crackers, and you ate them like they were going out of style. So, it eventually dawned on me that you didn’t want to be spoon fed, you wanted to feed yourself. I didn’t even know this was a thing (but it is, many people have since told me their kiddos were the same way), and I totally went with my mom gut on that one. So, I got you some mesh feeders, and you were on your way. Avocado is tops in your book, followed closely by bananas.

Something I learned about you the same weekend that I cracked the food code, was that you prefer to sleep on your tummy. It’s a little panic inducing for an American mama in 2013 to allow her baby to sleep on his stomach. But, you slept better in one afternoon on your stomach than you did in all of your six months since leaving the hospital. I can’t explain it, I don’t like it, but you are a tummy sleeper.

No teeth yet, but they just have to be coming soon. Sometimes you’re SO fussy, and we have NO idea why, and I just know in my gut that it’s teething related. I hope those suckers make their appearance soon, I’m sure you will be in a better mood. And, bonus, it will open up a whole new world of foods you can feed to yourself.

I was pretty preoccupied this past month, and I feel like it slipped right by me. I hope now that things have slowed down for our family that I can pay more attention, be more in the moment with you. Happy St. Patrick’s Day, and happy six months.



Five Months

My dearest Fer-Bear,

You’re 5 months old!

Mama knows you’re only 5 months old, but the rest of the world swears you look, and act, at least 7 months. Overachiever already.

Unfortunately, though, you’re not a great sleeper. I think you get that from me. I’ve been taking all the advice my bloggy friends have passed on, and you still take tiny, easily-woken-from cat naps all day, and wake up 2-3 times a night to nurse. Let’s forget for a moment that your big brother was fully sleeping through the night by your age. If you could just drop your routine to…one feeding a night, I’d be a happy mama. Oh, and if you could take a regular daytime nap too. Yeah, that’d be great. The only routine thing about your day right now, any day, is that you go to bed between 5:30 and 6 p.m., and sleep until about midnight. I wish I could push that back, even just a half hour, but it’s a routine, so I’ll take it. For now.

You roll over! I’ve usually got you in some seat or swing contraption, or your cosleeper bed which is quickly becoming way too small for you, so you don’t get a lot of chances to practice, but I’ve seen you roll tummy to back and back to tummy once each. That counts, right? You’re also having a love affair with your right foot. Just the right foot. You constantly tug off your right sock, and gnaw on your right foot for hours.

You’re not doing awesome with solid foods. Mama bragged to the Internetz about how you were “sooo ready” to start solids, and it turns out? Not so much. Big brother took to rice cereal like flies to poo, so this came as a big surprise to me. I think you like how it tastes, but you haven’t exactly figured out how to swallow it, and there’s some gagging involved. And half the time you’re still doing that pushing-it-out-of-your-mouth thing, so most of it ends up on the bib instead of in your belly. We still try every couple of days. You’ll get it eventually.

Also, we probably should have named you Smiley. You smile All. The. Time. Even when you are crying, we can get you to smile between wails. It’s adorable. And you don’t just smile, you SMILE. Your eyes light up, your cheeks get those amazing dimples, and you laugh. Such a happy guy. I hope you’re that smiley forever. There’s far too little smiling in this world, you will make it brighter.

And you ADORE your big brother.

You are always looking at him and smiling, and watching him play. Studying him closely, taking notes on how to be a big boy. It’s amazing to see you watch him with such admiration in your eyes, and to see him give you big hugs and kisses. Yay for brothers!

Happy 5 months, little dude! Keep smiling, keep growing, keep learning all there is to learn about your little world. I’m so excited to see all the exciting changes you make this month!



4 Months

Four months. FOUR MONTHS!

This is going by WAY TOO FAST.

The big news is, we started solids. A full 10 days before his 4 month birthday (the HORROR!) He has a love-hate relationship with it. Most of the time, he kind of rolls it around in his mouth, swallowing some of it, dribbling out the rest. Sometimes he VORACIOUSLY eats it up, and gets pissed when it’s gone. And sometimes, he turns his face away from it like it’s prison gruel. I can’t get a good read on this kid. What I DO know is that his system is fine with it, and I’ve added some applesauce and bananas to the mix as well, all well tolerated.

I also know for sure that it’s not helping the night feeding situation, as I had hoped. He started sleeping through the night at 3 months, just like his brother, but unlike brother, he started waking up twice a night to nurse again after just a couple of weeks of blissful full nights of rest.  Though, last night he slept all the way through again, so we’ll see.

And, I think he nurses for comfort a hell of a lot more than his brother did. Remember when I was complaining that he was nursing up to 15 times a day? Well, I went to a six-hour writing workshop last Saturday, and he drank like 6 oz. of milk and had some cereal. THE WHOLE TIME. Obviously he thinks if mama is around, he can just nurse to his heart’s content. If not? Ok, fine, what else is there?

At his 4 month check up, he weighed in at 16 pounds, 5 ounces. And he’s over two feet tall now. He’s almost exactly the same size as Bowie was at this age, though both the pediatrician and I could have sworn Ferris was bigger. He just seems…sturdier. And rounder. She kept saying how round Ferris looks.

He’s a super smiley kid, showing off those dimples for anyone who looks at him. And in the last few days he has really started making sounds. He imitates the sounds we make, and answers us in his little voice when we talk to him. And if you tickle his tummy just right during a diaper change, you’ll get a real, honest-to-goodness laugh. We’ve tried filming it, but he gets distracted by the camera and stops laughing.

He hates to be left alone. Not that I’m leaving my baby alone all the time, but if I have to put him in his swing or his bed so that I have two hands for folding laundry or cooking dinner or PEEING (for God’s sakes), then he gets really mad at me. And sad. He cries real tears, and they roll down his sad little face. Mommy guilt central. I can’t snuggle him to death the way I could with Bowie, and it’s killing me. And he really, really wants me to, so much more than Bowie ever did. Some days he won’t nap at all (an infant that won’t nap? I know.) unless I hold him in my arms, or carry him around in the Ergo.

And you guys, he looks EXACTLY like Bowie did at this age. EXACTLY. It’s trippin’ us out. We’re going to have to be very careful to label pictures, because I could totally see us looking back in 10 years or so and being all, “Which one is this?” He gets referred to a lot as “Bowie Junior” or “Bowie’s Clone”, which I hope won’t give him some kind of complex.

Enjoying every second with this little bug, as much as I can. It’s going by SOOO FAST.

Starting Solid Food

When Bowie turned 4 months old, I started him on solid food mostly because I was an eager new mom, and was excited to start. I mean, he was nursing slightly more than the average kid, and he certainly met the weight criteria, but he was happily sleeping through the night, and he didn’t seem all that interested in food, and he was thriving, and I’m sure I could have held off until his 6 month birthday. But, I got the go-ahead from our pediatrician and I started him on cereals at 4 months anyway, and fruits and veggies shortly after. And he did great.

Ferris is much more eager to get started on solid foods, and he’s made that perfectly clear, even though he’s not officially 4 months old until next Thursday. But, like big brother, he’s at the right weight (double his birth weight) and he’s had basic head and neck strength since like, 6 weeks. (My guys like to look around and see the world, I guess.)

Unlike big brother, he’s eating A LOT more than the average kiddo, with up to 15 feedings per day (most articles recommend starting if the baby still seems hungry after 8 to 10 feedings). He’s also interested in what we’re eating. REALLY interested. Not only does he watch in fascination as we eat, and screech in protest when we don’t share, but around New Year’s, I was eating a clementine with him in my lap, and he grabbed himself a slice and started shoving it into his mouth! And to top it all off, I’m pretty sure he’s going to sprout a tooth any second. Dude is ready. 

So, I mentioned something on the old Twitters about how he was SO SO READY, and did I actually have to wait until he was fully 4 months old to start?

I got a few responses informing me that “the recommendation is actually 6 months.” Which yes, is the tail end of what most consider to be the recommendation of 4 to 6 months, as long as baby shows signs of readiness. In fact, one article I ran across recommended starting sometime before 6 months, because after 6 months, the texture might be a turn off for them, and you’ll have a harder time getting them to start. I’m not saying you need to start before then even if you and baby aren’t ready, but I just found that little bit of info interesting.

Ferris will start very soon. As soon as I get a second to grab a box of Earth’s Best from Target (I plan to make all of his food like I did for Bowie, including my own rice cereal, but before 6 months it’s recommended they start on iron-fortified cereal). I figure since you start out only feeding a tablespoon or two a day, it’s ok to start a week early.

I had big babies who like to eat. What else is a mama to do?

When did you start your babies on solids? What signs of readiness did they show?

Three Months

Somewhere in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and amid sickness and problems with Big Brother, and a grandparent relocation to our neck of the woods, my little bug turned three months old.

Can you believe that? Three months!

He’s a very happy baby, laughing and giggling about everything. He’s getting very social, and lights up when he sees familiar faces (especially Big Brother’s face!).

He’s also got a flair for the dramatic. When he’s sitting in his swing or in his bed and he wants me to pick him up, he does this little half cry half whimper, which I’ve learned to tell apart from a real cry. If I don’t come get him, he starts to yell. He really is yelling! It’s hilarious. And of course, it gets him what he wants.

He’s super eager to move, I can tell. He isn’t rolling over quite yet, but when placed on his back, he often turns his body 180 degrees, and moves a full foot in one direction. And also while on his back, he tries like hell to sit up. While sitting up assisted, he’s pretty steady. He’ll be high-chair-ready in no time!

Which is pretty crazy. I started Bowie on solids at 4 months because I thought he was a big eater. But, Ferris is a BIG EATER. So, I may start him around the same time. Which is only four weeks away! How did that happen?!

He’s so curious about the world around him. If he’s fussy, all I really have to do is let him look at something he’s never seen before. Today at Big Brother’s swimming lesson, I had Ferris in the Ergo, and he was super fussy, even though I was sure he wasn’t hungry, and he’s usually pretty comfy in there. So, when I found my seat on the bench, I got him out, and he was silent for the rest of the lesson, looking around and everything and turning to hear noises.

It is amazing watching him learn and grow and develop so differently from Bowie, yet at the same time so much the same as Bowie. I’m trying, trying, trying to “enjoy every moment”, but how are you supposed to do that when things are moving so fast? Every morning when I pick him up out of his bed, he’s like a new baby, with new likes and dislikes and wants and needs. I spend my day learning to meet all of that for him, instead of spending it just playing with him.

The past three months have been an exhausting blur, but also some of the best of my life. Love you, baby Ferris!