Ferris is eight months old now people. EIGHT. MONTHS. I can’t believe it! Two-thirds of the way through is first year already. Insane!
As for how breastfeeding is going…it’s complicated. Just three hours after I hit publish on my last post, he refused to nurse, and I haven’t been able to get him to nurse since. Which is gut-wrenching. He’s only 8 months old. I really wanted to go for much longer.
And while I think I still will be able to provide breast milk for him to drink, I don’t think I can provide enough for him to subsist on just that, at least for the next few months, so I’m trying slowly to work formula back into the equation. It’s difficult to pump and keep up with his appetite, but I’m trying a bunch of stuff suggested by my lactation consultant friends, and I hope to up the supply just a bit. I’m not sure how this will all shake out, but my end goal is to offer a mix of breast milk and formula and hope he gets what he needs out of it. I never envisioned pumping to be THIS huge of an ordeal. Nor did I ever expect him to fully and completely reject nursing. Or would seriously have just put up with all the biting. I’m frustrated and sad and mom-guilting myself to death.
You are growing and changing so fast right now! Outgrowing clothes, crawling like a machine and eating real solid food by your very own self.
Last month, you were crawling backwards, and rolling and scooting your way around the house, but just a few short weeks after I wrote that post, you were not only crawling forward, but also starting to pull yourself to stand with furniture. And not only are you pulling yourself to stand, but also getting brave and letting go and trying to take steps. Slow down kid! You’re only 8 months old! You’ll be tearing around this house in no time, I’m sure. Grandma told me that your uncle was walking by 10 months, which I never knew before, so I guess it’s in your blood to get up and get moving. Now, if we could just avoid all your little wipeouts, so when I take you out in public I’m not so embarrassed by the bruises all over your head!
You have four teeth now, and I’m pretty sure you’re about to get two more. Which is what got us in all the trouble with nursing to begin with. You want to bite. You LOVE to BITE. I have to be careful what I let you get your hands on, because you will bite the ever-loving crap out of anything that gets near you. I hope that soon, you will start to teeth a little more gracefully. So we can all just get some SLEEP.
More and more of your personality is shining through each day. I can tell by the foods you like and the foods you reject, the toys you spend more time with and the toys that stay at the bottom of the basket, and the things you watch us do and the things you ignore, just what kind of little man you’ll become soon. But, also in a lot of other ways, you’re a blank slate. This first year is the most amazing time to be a parent, everything is shifting and changing and developing so fast. It’s like being able to watch a flower bloom in real time.
We have had a hard week, you and me, figuring out where we both stand with one another when it comes to nursing and bottle feeding. But, I think we may have found a balance finally. I’m so sorry I couldn’t nurse you as long as I wanted, or even as long as I nursed your brother. But, I feel like I really am doing what is best for the both of us. Which is all that really matters in the end.
I love you my sweet bug.