I get it now.

You know how before you have kids, you think you know everything about raising kids, and then when you finally have kids you laugh at how foolish you were before?

I’m kind of feeling that way again, only about having more than one kid. I used to read blogs and Facebook status updates and tweets about moms who forgot to do important stuff or couldn’t get stuff done around the house and could barely manage a shower some days, and never NEVER arrived anywhere on time, and I used to think, “What is wrong with these women? I have a kid, and I’m not doing that stuff.”

Ah, dear Beth, if only you knew what was in store for you with two kids in tow. I think I figured that adding one more kiddo to the mix wouldn’t be that big of a deal, considering that Bowie is already 4 1/2. But, I’m having to do a lot of juggling to take care of both boys, a lot more than I ever imagined. Plus, for the time being, Bowie has regressed a little bit, and “needs” help again with things he’s been doing on his own for a while.

Things suffer. Like getting to appointments on time, and getting the laundry done and daily showering. Before Ferris came along, I could count on one hand the number of times I’ve been late for things. Now, I’ve been late to both of his doctor’s appointments and twice getting Bowie to preschool. And once picking him up from preschool. This is requiring some adjustment on my part, given my anal retentiveness regarding punctuality.

I’m getting better at it though. So far I’ve honed the skillz of Showering Before Husband Leaves for Work and Loading Dishwasher While Wearing Baby. And I’m not proud of it, but a few times I’ve pulled the old Distract Preschooler with Sesame Street While Tending to Baby trick. And I’m still riding on the coattails of “I just had a baby,” so people are pretty gracious about my tardiness.

I’m figuring out our routine too, slowly but surely. I know that Ferris will take a nice, long nap in his bed in the middle of the morning, leaving me free to do household tasks and cook lunch for Bowie. But, in the afternoon he is a bit of a Fussy McFusspants and has a hard time sleeping unless he’s snug in the Moby wrap or nestled in the crook of my arm. As long as I know it will be the same every day, I can deal with it. (Though it’s pretty common knowledge that as soon as you’ve learned your baby’s routines, they will change. Shhh, nobody tell Ferris that, ok?)

I thought the learning curve would be smaller, given that I’ve already mothered one kid all the way into preschooler-hood, surely I can do at least that again? But, still a pretty steep learning curve, hopping back and forth between each kid, tending to their needs. It’s a balance. A very careful balance.

So, if I ever made a snotty comment on your site about how surely you can find the time for a shower, then forgive me. I get it now. Are we cool?

5 comments on “I get it now.

  1. A couple years ago I took my two kids (a 2 year old and 7 month old at the time) to my family reunion without my husband. At the end of the week I declared I would never do that again and my sister harassed me a bunch about how I’d had so much help and how hard could it be? Fast forward to last year when she brought her two daughters (who were similar ages) to our parents’ without her husband. A couple days in she apologized for harassing me and agreed that she’d never travel with kids but without her husband again.

    Things don’t seem like they should be that hard, and yet, you get there and it’s much harder than you thought!

    1. Oh the mob mentality about how you’re getting “all this help” from the adults around you. I know that one. Props to you for doing the week with two kids (whose schedules were probably affected as well, making it even MORE challenging). So nice to have received an apology though.

  2. Yep, and I’m scared to have this kind of revelation when #3 is there. Well. We’ll see !
    Everything is going to make sense when they’ll start playing/interacting together, and it will come soon enough, good luck ! Can’t wait to come and meet the little guy 🙂

  3. I felt like there was no bigger kick in the teeth than from going from one child to two. And I felt like no one told me how hard it would be. Dang.

  4. I’m pretty sure it only gets “easier” when you’re on your fourth kid – at least, this is what I understand from others with big families.

    One kid = hard.
    Two kids = suddenly feels like ONE kid was like having NO kids.
    Three kids = crazypants
    Four kids = if staggered, means more help with the babies

    Go easy on yourself… it’s gonna be fun. And taxing. And excellent. And awful. And really, really wonderful… xox

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