Ground Control to Major Tom

So, you know what I’m totally tired of already (even though I have like 16 years of thisย  parenting thing left) (well, really forever because they’re always our kids) (and make that forever and a day if we have more kids)?

I’m tired of the whole not listening thing. Like, you know they hear you, you know they understand you, yet they do not respond and/or do not react accordingly!

I remember my own mother complaining about this phenomenon, the selective hearing. Why, just this afternoon, I repeated one of her favorites, “Why don’t you ever listen to me?!”

Ok, so I didn’t listen, and probably kids before me didn’t, and I should take comfort in that and therefore be able to deal with it when Bowie pulls the I’m-not-listening card. But, no, people. Really, no. It still sucks.

I often apologize to new moms or expecting moms for scaring them about the toddler years, but I won’t apologize here, you must be warned. Be prepared to repeat yourself approximately 75 times when you want them to do something or stop doing something or whatever it is.

You will be calm at first. You will think I am the coolest, calmest most collected mama on earth. I’ll just ask him nicely to not put the fork in the socket and everything will be awesome.

Gradually, the volume of your voice will increase, and the language will change (for instance, you may even begin to throw a threat or two in there) until finally you are MAMA, HELLBEAST OF THE APOCALYPSE.

Just do this for me though: don’t be too hard on yourself. Know that you are not the only mama to yell. And take comfort in the fact that you had the patience to ask nicely as many times as you did.

I have a friend who theorizes that a little yelling when they are young makes them think twice as teens. Now, who knows what our kids will do when they are teens, we were all loose cannons back then AM I RIGHT? But, use her theory to make yourself feel better, haha.

p.s. like the Bowie reference? yes, I’m super witty like that, thanks.

4 comments on “Ground Control to Major Tom

  1. Oh Man! Do I feel you. With four kids, it’s often like I’m just talking to myself, asking questions that never get answered. And it only gets worse with age. I agree with your friend that a little yelling lets them know you mean business.
    Also, and I hate to break it to you, as they get older they not only don’t listen, but they start to argue with everything you say. When that happens you’ll have to pull out the old classic “Because I said so, ” or me and my husband’s personal favorite, “Do it or I’ll crush your skull.”
    That only works if you say it with a straight face though. ๐Ÿ™‚
    @BeingSuper

  2. So true … I didn’t even know I could yell that much.
    I don’t believe in non yelling moms (or too good looking moms), they’re hiding something ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. One thing I did learn raising toddlers and making them listen: Turn them away from whatever they are doing wrong; hold your finger on your nose and make them look at you; when they make eye contact, and only when the make eye contact – and keep it – tell them what you expect. Also let them know the consequence if they don’t. Doesn’t always work; but works more than it doesn’t.

    On another note, the teenage years are hell – get used to the idea that you are going to yell!

  4. hahah awesome. Because a) I’m scurrred… and Lucy is ALREADY doing the selective hearing thing. OY. and because b) totally LOL’d here. And C? I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new blog look! Jealous.

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