About the Size of a Lime

That’s how big my baby is.

Yep, my baby. I’m 12 weeks preggo as of last weekend.

I was really stressing out about when and how and why to come out to the Internet about my pregnancy. While I could not be more thrilled to be pregnant again, I’m also about as anxious as I think one human being could be. Especially since it’s been 2 weeks since my last doctor’s appointment, and I don’t get to go back for 2 more weeks. I need more reassurance than that.

I also thought getting pregnant again would just fix all of my feelings of loss and grief and fear, and everything would be right with the world again. Not exactly so. For a while, my feelings actually intensified; hormones I suppose. And then I felt guilty, like I was so fixated on conceiving this baby that I might forget the baby I lost. (I’ve since realized that’s just not going to happen.) And now, I worry all the time that things will turn out the same way again, I can’t seem to settle into reality mode and be happy.

But, I want everyone who was there for me during the miscarriage and the grieving process to also be able to celebrate with me. And maybe telling more than just our parents and siblings will help make things seem more real. Thank you all for your support, here’s to the future. And here’s to my little lime. (This is reminding me how much I miss margaritas.)

Photo credit: mconnors from morguefile.com

10 comments on “About the Size of a Lime

  1. Congratulations, Beth and family! I am so excited for you 🙂 It’s completely normal to feel the way you do. After my miscarriage, I worried nonstop and had much stronger feelings about everything with my last baby. You will do great and find more peace and joy as your pregnancy progresses. I am just so happy for you 🙂

  2. Oh, YAY!! Hooray for you all, Beth!! This is wonderful news… try to enjoy it. I know it seems impossible not to stress about everything, but it’s a wonderful process. I’m so thrilled for you!! xox

  3. I had not known of your loss, but I am ecstatic for your new baby. I realize your patience in wanting to tell people. I actually just watched a documentary (very short video) featuring my cousin and her struggles with miscarriages and infertility. So, while I’ve never experienced the feelings, it’s close to home. Can’t wait to hear more!

  4. Congrats Beth! I’m so happy for you! I remember having similar feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt, sadness, happiness…you name it. I never really got excited during my last pregnancy because I was so terrified that something would go wrong again. Those feelings are normal Beth. Hang in there, take good care of yourself and celebrate this new life! Yay!

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