Group Therapy: The Self-Deprecation

The first few weeks of 2012 have not been kind to some of my friends, family and acquaintances. But, they’ve been going swimmingly for me, and my little corner of the universe.

Which has really taught me a lesson about myself lately: I find it hard to be happy when others are not.

There’s a Woody Allen joke, “I can’t enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.” And, I think that’s what I’m trying to say. I can’t be happy if everyone’s not happy.

Which is just ridiculous because, take a look around. It’s highly unlikely I’ll ever live to see a day when everyone is happy.

So, I’m trying to by happy for myself, even if I can’t be happy for everyone in my life. I can still be there to support them, I can still be there to love them. It’s not as if I’m showing up on their doorstep saying, “My life is so much better than yours right now!”

I’m sure there were times in those people’s lives when they were happy, and I wasn’t. In fact, I can think of several examples to that effect. But, I never resented anyone for it. I told myself, “It’s not their fault that I’m not happy.”

So, then why would I also say to myself, “Why should I be happy when they are not?” Doesn’t make any sense.

I’m not huge on resolutions, I find them hard to make and harder to keep. But, I suppose this can be mine for 2012: Don’t be afraid to give myself credit and allow myself to be happy.

3 comments on “Group Therapy: The Self-Deprecation

  1. I REALLY hope you can allow yourself to be happy! It’s wonderful to recognize when people are in pain and struggling with one thing or another but, as a wife and mom, you do have a responsibility to be as present and up and positive as you can be…for your little family.

  2. Good for you, girl. Enjoy your happiness… it’s an ebb and flow sort of thing, so with some optimal perspective, you can keep on floating – and you deserve to be happy, lovely, lovely Beth. xox

  3. Sometimes I think we feel guilty for being happy when others are not. This is a hard thing to retrain our brains to accept; it’s OK to be happy even when others aren’t. Our happiness can help pull others out of their holes of depression and if not, at least we didn’t get pulled in with them. Great Article!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *