Routine? What’s that?

Funny thing about parenthood: just when you get into a routine, and you think you’ve got it all down, kiddo goes and changes the routine, and you once again have no idea what you’re doing.

For the better part of last week, Bowie didn’t nap. He napped yesterday, so I know we’re not crossing the totally napless threshold, but it’s not looking good.

When he doesn’t nap, it’s certainly not because he isn’t tired. The long, screaming, crying, whining afternoon is proof of that. And have you ever tried to keep a toddler busy for 13 straight hours? It’s, well, a challenge.

Also new in our house is the Diaper/Clothing Change Avoidance. Whenever he sees me coming with a diaper and wipes or an outfit, he runs the other way shouting, “WAIT!” Which would be super cute except no, sweetie, we can’t wait to change your diaper, it’s full of stinky poo that’s going to give you a horrible rash. And we have to put on the pajamas now because sweet baby Jesus, it’s bedtime. I’ve had to use all my strength to hold him down with one arm while wrangling a diaper and some clothes on with the other had.

And, ok, guess what else? Nothing in the kitchen is safe anymore. We baby-proofed the important stuff. Well, the stuff he could reach anyway. Only, now? He can reach EVERYTHING. Including items on the counter, and in the knife drawer. (Oh yeah, good thing I was paying attention that day.) At any given moment you’ll find about 30 DVDs, all the chips and crackers and all my pots and pans strewn about the house. Picking it up is useless, because it only takes him about 2 minutes to recreate the mess.

That’s life with a toddler. One day, you’re supermom, and you know exactly what to do and when to do it. The next day you’re a complete mess because you have spent the whole day running after the kiddo to change him, then to get something dangerous out of his hands, then to change him again, then to deal with his sleep deprivation tantrum regarding the cookies he found in the cupboard that you won’t let him have. Oh Bowie, let’s get past this Terrible Twos thing, shall we?

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