Now

Found this on Pinterest. And it immediately struck me. It is such a poignant quote for me right now.

It does hurt to look back. So, so much. More than I can express in words. And so much more than I can bear some moments. I can’t imagine myself ever getting past this pain. Somewhere in my heart, I know that I will. But, it’s difficult to believe right now.

And, it is frightening to look ahead. Terrifying. There’s no guarantee I will get pregnant again. And if I do, what if I miscarry again? And, what if this wasn’t meant to be? Am I pushing to hard for something that wasn’t meant to be mine?

But this. This here. This now. This today. I can handle this. Because I’m surrounded with love and support. Understanding and empathy. Friends, family, kind strangers. I can do this.

I’m going to work really hard to focus on this moment. I don’t want to look back and think, “yeah I got pregnant again and had a baby. But, I don’t remember a single thing about that whole summer.” I’ve got to keep living my life, filling up each day. That’s what will sustain me.

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